“Hannah, really,” Mom said, looking bored. “Is that kind of passive-aggressive insult necessary?”
“I learned it at your knee, Mother,” she snapped. “Dad? Explain yourself.”
Dad was looking increasingly uncomfortable. Good. I felt a little betrayed myself, given that he’d crossed enemy lines. “Okay, girls, settle down,” he said. “Obviously, your mother and I have a . . . bond.”
“No, you don’t,” I said. “You can barely stay in the same room together.”
“I think we clearly proved you wrong on that point, Liliana,” Mom said.
“Gross! Stop it!”
“Anyway,” Dad said, “um . . . well, we, uh . . .”
“We ran into each other on the street a few months ago,” Mom said. “I told him he looked good. We started talking. The sparks were undeniable. Your father may be a Luddite, but he exudes animal magnetism.”
Hannah and I shuddered simultaneously. “Please,” I said. “Let something be sacred from our childhood, and let that be the hatred between the two of you.”
“？‘Hate’ is such a strong word,” Mom said. “We don’t exactly love each other, or even like each other, to be honest. Am I right, Pedro?”
“You are, Officer.” He raised an eyebrow at my mother.
“There were handcuffs, Hannah,” I said. “She was wearing a state trooper’s hat.”
“Don’t tell me these things!” Hannah said. “God, I need a bleach shower after this.”
“I can’t carry this alone,” I said. “And I’m taking a bleach shower right after you’re done.”
“Girls, stop acting like wounded tweens,” Mom said, and if she’d had a cigarette, she would’ve blown a stream of smoke into the air. “The sexual attraction between your father and me has never faded. We gave in to it.”
“And you broke Beatrice’s heart,” Hannah said. “You never deserved her, Mom. She could’ve done so much better.”
“And now she’s free to do so,” Mom said, ever unmoved where her daughters’ emotions were concerned.
“Hannah, let’s get out of here,” I said.
“Yeah.”
“Tomato,” Dad said to Hannah, pulling his best sad-dad face, “don’t be mad at your old man. I might not have many years left.”
“Because I might strangle you if you don’t stop talking,” Hannah said.
“Call me, Lillie,” Dad said, shifting his puppy eyes to me.
“No! I’m not going to!” I would, and probably tomorrow, but I had to show some solidarity with Hannah.
We left. Her hands were shaking, and her face was pale.
“Let’s see if the Mews has a table for us,” I said. “Your treat. I’ll drive so you can drink.”
A half hour later, we were seated on the lower level of the Mews, looking out over the choppy bay, the dark clouds hanging low on the horizon. Hannah was gulping down a martini with two kinds of vodka in it. I ordered us some food, since Hannah was shell-shocked and furious. Lots of food, because I was starving.
I took a sip of my water. “So . . . thoughts?”
“I want to kill them both. They put us through so much, Lils! They’ve been divorced for thirty-four years, never a civil word between them. Remember when you had to have them over in shifts on Dylan’s birthdays? Or when we’d have to make sure they didn’t sit within earshot of each other at his football games? All those miserable back-and-forth trips between the two houses, and now suddenly they’re screwing?”
“I know,” I said.
“Poor Beatrice,” she whispered, and tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m going to call her right now.”
“Maybe wait till tomorrow,” I suggested. “It’s late there, right?”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” She looked so miserable. “I can’t believe they were both . . . complicit. I mean, Mom is basically a reptile when it comes to morals, but Dad? Dad? Sleeping with a married woman?”
I winced. “Well, a married woman he was once married to . . . who cheated on him . . . with Beatrice . . .”
“No, Lillie! Save his defense for later.”
“Roger that.”
Our food arrived—I had ordered a bunch of appetizers and salad for both of us, since Hannah was in no state to think, and I got to work eating all this deliciousness Hannah was paying for.