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Outlander 01 - Outlander(252)

Author:Diana Gabaldon

She studied her brother's face, a troubled frown wrinkling her rounded brow.

"No, I dinna regret taking Randall to the house—not even if he'd… well, no. But that wasn't it." She drew a deep breath again, steeling herself.

"When I took him inside, I brought him up to my room. I—I didna ken quite what to expect—I'd not… been wi' a man. He seemed verra nervous, though, all flushed and as though he were not certain himself, which seemed strange to me. He pushed me onto the bed, and then he stood there, rubbing himself. I thought at first I'd really damaged him wi' my knee, though I knew I hadna struck him so hard, really." The color was creeping up her cheeks, and she stole a sidelong glance at Ian before looking hastily back at her lap.

"I ken now that he was trying to—to make himself ready. I didna mean to let him know I was frightened, so I sat up straight on the bed and stared at him. That seemed to anger him, and he ordered me to turn round. I wouldna do it, though, and just kept looking at him."

Her face was the color of one of the roses by the doorstep. "He… unbuttoned himself, and I… well, I laughed at him."

"You did what?" Jamie said incredulously.

"I laughed. I mean—" Her eyes met her brother's with some defiance. "I kent well enough how a man's made. I'd seen you naked often enough, and Willy and Ian as well. But he—" A tiny smile appeared on her lips, despite her apparent efforts to suppress it. "He looked so funny, all red in the face, and rubbing himself so frantic, and yet still only half—"

There was a choked sound from Ian, and she bit her lip, but went on bravely.

"He didna like it when I laughed, and I could see it, so I laughed some more. That's when he lunged at me and tore my dress half off me. I smacked him in the face, and he struck me across the jaw, hard enough to make me see stars. Then he grunted a bit, as though that pleased him, and started to climb onto the bed wi' me. I had just about sense enough left to laugh again. I struggled up onto my knees, and I—I taunted him. I told him I kent he was no a real man, and couldna manage wi' a woman. I—"

She bent her head still further, so the dark curls swung down past her flaming cheeks. Her words were very low, almost a whisper.

"I… spread the pieces of my gown apart, and I… taunted him wi' my breasts. I told him I knew he was afraid o' me, because he wasna fit to touch a woman, but only to sport wi' beasts and young lads…"

"Jenny," said Jamie, shaking his head helplessly.

Her head came up to look at him. "Weel, I did then," she said. "It was all I could think of, and I could see that he was fair off his head, but it was plain too that he… couldn't. And I stared right at his breeches and I laughed again. And then he got his hands round my throat, throttling me, and I cracked my head against the bedpost, and… and when I woke he'd gone, and you wi' him."

There were tears standing in her lovely blue eyes as she grasped Jamie's hands.

"Jamie, will ye forgive me? I know if I'd not angered him that way he wouldna have treated you as he did, and then Faither—"

"Oh, Jenny, love, mo cridh, don't." He was kneeling beside her, pulling her face into his shoulder. Ian, on her other side, looked as though he had been turned to stone.

Jamie rocked her gently as she sobbed. "Hush, little dove. Ye did right, Jenny. It wasna your fault, and maybe not mine either." He stroked her back.

"Listen, mo cridh. He came here to do damage, under orders. And it would ha' made no difference who he'd found here, or what you or I might have done. He meant to cause trouble, to rouse the countryside against the English, for his own purposes—and those of the man that hired him."

Jenny stopped crying and sat up, looking at him in amazement.

"To rouse folk against the English? But why?"

Jamie made an impatient gesture with one hand. "To find out the folk that might support Prince Charles, should it come to another Rising. But I dinna ken yet which side Randall's employer is on—if he wants to know so those that follow the Prince can be watched, and maybe have their property seized, or if it's that he—Randall's employer—means to go wi' the Prince himself, and wants the Highlands roused and ready for war when the time comes. I dinna ken, and it isna important now." He touched his sister's hair, smoothing it back from her brow.

"All that's important is that you're not harmed, and I am home. Soon I'll come back to stay, mo cridh. I promise."