‘Collectors are passionate people,’ said Beth. ‘They don’t usually allow representatives to make decisions on their behalf, especially when it’s likely to cost them twenty million pounds.’
‘Then let’s hope Booth Watson will be accompanied by a dress designer by the name of Ricardo Rossi.’
‘But if Booth Watson’s doing no more than representing a client, and Faulkner doesn’t make an appearance,’ said Beth, ‘it will be another wasted journey.’
‘Not necessarily,’ responded William, ‘because when Booth Watson delivers the painting, he might just lead us straight to the front door of an obsessed collector who’s standing on his front step waiting to welcome Christ with open arms and ends up with me.’
? ? ?
When Josephine woke the following morning, she found Ross sitting up at the dressing table writing a letter.
‘A Dear John letter?’ she teased as she stretched her arms.
Ross put down his pen. ‘No. I’ve decided to resign from the Met,’ he said, sounding unusually serious.
‘But you’ve only just been promoted.’
‘It’s not the same since I stopped being a UCO,’ said Ross. ‘I can’t just sit behind a desk shuffling paper clips around while two East End thugs go on running rings around us.’
‘But if The Hawk won’t let you go back undercover, what’s the alternative?’
‘I was in the SAS before I joined the Met, and my commanding officer was a Major Cormac Kinsella, a mad Irishman who used to eat cockroaches on toast for breakfast.’
‘Fried or boiled?’ asked Jo, trying to make light of it.
‘They were still alive, which he said made it more of a challenge. His second-in-command, Captain Gareth Evans, thought the dragon was too soft a creature to represent the Welsh. They both retired from the SAS before the age of forty and set up a travel company, “Nightmare Holidays”， that doesn’t specialise in trips to Monte Carlo or St Tropez.’
‘Where else is there?’ asked Jo, with a sigh.
‘Nightmare Holidays’ slogan is “Survive a fortnight with us, and nothing will seem impossible”。 They offer their customers three different types of experience: “Uncomfortable”， “Unpleasant” and, by far their most popular, “Unbearable”。’
‘I can’t wait,’ said Jo, ‘do tell me more.’
‘“Uncomfortable” is when they drop off a group of eight above the Arctic Circle and expect them to fend for themselves for a fortnight. They’re supplied with one tent and enough food to last for a week. And each customer is allowed to take a thousand pounds in cash with them.’
‘What’s the use of money if you’re stranded in the Arctic?’
‘If you hand it to the ex-SAS officer in charge of the group, you’ll be allowed to go home early.’
‘This is becoming more enticing by the minute,’ said Jo. ‘I think I’ll opt for “Unpleasant”。’
‘For that particular experience, twelve happy customers are dumped in the Brazilian rainforest a couple of thousand miles up the Amazon with half a dozen canoes and—’
‘Enough food to last for a week,’ said Jo.
‘You’re getting the idea. You then have to paddle down the river until you reach the next village some three hundred miles away, with only alligators, anacondas, piranhas and unfriendly natives to keep you company, so you don’t get a lot of sleep at night.’
‘I’ll take your word for it.’
‘You can still hand over your thousand pounds to the former SAS officer in charge of the trip, and a motor boat will appear from nowhere and drop you off at the nearest town. But you won’t be reunited with your passport or given a plane ticket, so you’ll have to make your own way home.’
‘What’s the point of that?’
‘To make sure you think twice before leaving.’
‘I’m not sure I want to know about the third option.’
‘“Unbearable”。 You can’t be considered a candidate for that particular challenge until you’ve already completed both “Uncomfortable” and “Unpleasant”。’
‘I can’t wait to see the brochure.’
‘You’re dropped off in the port of Quellen in Chile, where you will join the crew of an ancient fishing vessel that sails around Cape Horn for the first week, before continuing on up the east coast to Brazil.’