Please know that any errors in this book, should there be any, were fully my fault and not those of the professionals who loaned me their expertise.
A special thank-you to my best friend, Lindsay Van Horn, who has had many frank conversations with me about her harrowing experience with domestic violence. It was she who told me that nobody could save her until she was ready to save herself. She did, and she’s happily remarried to a wonderful man.
Another thank-you to Ashley Spivey, who allowed me to use her words: I believe you, this is not your fault, and you don’t deserve this. Ashley is a brave and vocal survivor of domestic violence. This was such a powerful statement that I asked if I could repeat it in this book. Thank you for letting me do so, so that this message can reach more of those who need to hear it.
The average abuse victim attempts to leave their abuser seven times before getting away for good. Many do not leave with their lives. If you or anyone you know is in need of help, please reach out to any of these organizations. There are resources available and there are people who understand.
National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/
Tel: 1-800-799-7233
Text START to tel: 1-800-799-7233
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence https://www.nrcdv.org/
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://ncadv.org/
Stronghearts Native Helpline Tel: 1-844-7NATIVE （1-844-762-8483） Love Is Respect
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
Tel: 1-866-331-9474
Text: LOVEIS 22522
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READING GROUP GUIDE
Questions for Readers
What are the pros and cons of Alexis’s lifestyle versus Daniel’s? Which would you choose? What is your definition of success?
Alexis is mistreated by Neil, and Liz by Jake. Compare and contrast those forms of abuse. What kind of impact does each have?
Alexis has a lot of expectations put on her by her family. Did you feel that was fair? Do you agree with how she handled the situation? How is that different from or similar to the pressures Daniel feels? Are there times in your own life when the pressure of expectation has conflicted with your own wants and needs?
In some ways Wakan feels like a place out of time, its own separate world. Do you think that’s part of its protection? Do you believe that a place can have a spirit, the way Pops explained?
What are some of the fairy-tale similarities you could find in the story?
Gabby’s behavior during the girls’ weekend is the first time Alexis has thought about the power of her privilege. Do you think Gabby was right to leave a poor rating for their stay at Grant House? What would you have done in the same situation? Or at a restaurant? Or for an Etsy shop?
Alexis refers to herself as Dr. Alexis through most of the book…until she decides to marry Daniel. Then she becomes Dr. Alexis Montgomery Grant. How do you think that reflects the way she felt about her identity and family legacy?
Who would be on your zombie apocalypse team?
Q & A with Abby
What made you want to tell this story?
My best friend was in an incredibly abusive marriage before we met. She barely escaped with her life. She has since gone on to be an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and she speaks openly about what she lived through.
I didn’t understand the cycle of abuse before I met Lindsay. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why a woman wouldn’t just leave. Many people are unaware of the power dynamic that takes place in an abusive relationship and how to help someone enduring it. It wasn’t until Lindsay began to talk to me about it that I could grasp how complicated the situation was and how hard it is to get out. Here was this intelligent, capable, strong woman who ended up in this awful marriage that she felt powerless to escape. It shattered all the preconceived notions I had about who this happens to and why. It was very eye-opening.
I can’t think of a better way to educate than to put a reader right into the brain of someone living it. I did a lot of due diligence in writing this to make sure the advice Alexis gives Liz is accurate. My hope is that it can act as a road map out to those witnessing it or surviving it.
In what ways do you relate to Alexis? To Daniel?
I can relate to both of them. I grew up without money. I never went to college. I had to start working at sixteen, which planted me in the service industry where I could get a job without any advanced education. I have cried in many a walk-in freezer—LOL. Alexis is closer to my age, and now that I’m more financially secure, I can afford some nicer things. So I really was able to live in both of their heads pretty easily. But if I had to pick one, I’d say I related most to Daniel.