“Dance!” Nora yelled on a downbeat, and we swung in again on the 6/8. Like a miracle, they did. The shadows jerked and twisted and bobbed their heads, spraying sweat and spilling their drinks. I looked back at Toby and he was in ecstasy, lifting shoulders up and down with the snare, eyes everywhere like a revivalist speaking in tongues. I signaled for him to loop around the last part of the chorus again. He read me, instinctively slowing so that I could extend the notes and growl the final verse again. Yes. Exactly what I wanted.
The bodies fell into a sway, and we thanked them. They screamed their approval.
Backstage, we descended into a damp, smelly hug.
“What the hell, dudes?” Nora said, out of breath. “What the hell did we just do to the masses?”
“We slayed them,” Toby said, his arm sliding around my waist as we pressed our foreheads together.
“We did,” I said, and kissed his cheek. “And with what’s probably going to be our album.”
“Yes,” Toby said, pulling me closer. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“And Cass survived this one!” Nora joked.
We laughed. Nora went to grab a celebratory beer. Toby jogged over to peek his head out to the front, to see if the crowd had cleared enough so we could take down our instruments.
I flopped down on one of the greenroom’s ratty couches and took it in. I had survived. There wasn’t a second when I felt too tired or too fried. I’d begun to think of my diabetes like one of my more demanding plants. One of those expensive, rare flowers you had to talk to and water and move in and out of the shade, except now I had no choice, because it lived inside me.
Toby crashed half on top of me, half on top of the cushions, and we kissed, the rush of the show still ringing in our ears. When we leaned back, we laughed a little. Toby picked a piece of hair off my shirt, suddenly shy. Being public was still new. But so good. I thought of his long arms bashing the beats, drawing the eyes of every woman in the front row. I kissed him again.
“We probably sold it out, huh,” I said.
Toby nodded, face lifted, too happy for words. We sold out the Skylark. My diabetes wasn’t a total monster. Everything was falling into place. I couldn’t wait to tell Luke.
To: Cassie Salazar
From: PFC Luke Morrow
Subject: Hello
Hello Cassie
Just thought I would test this out. I don’t see why this wouldn’t go through but it seems crazy that I can write this from a laptop in the middle of [REDACTED]. shows you how good i am at the internet. You don’t even want to know how long it took me to set even this up. Next thing you know I will be yelling at you to get off my lawn.
But yeah here’s where you can reach me and we can set up skype dates. Feel free to also send me hot pictures. You know, stuff like you dressed up as a Ninja Turtle, you dressed as the Fonz from Happy Days, you know what I like. Kidding. But you are my wife so think about it. But seriously I’m kidding.
So remember how I was telling you about how my running times will go way down when I get home because I will be used to the elevation here? They are already going way down here, even though i didn’t get to run for the first few weeks because we were getting adjusted. Must be the food. And by food I mean lack of food.
Anyway I bet they are going to be off the charts when i get home. Maybe I will train for a marathon. Maybe I will make you train with me. :） Luke
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To: PFC Luke Morrow
From: Cassie Salazar
Subject: Miss you!
Luke, It is I, your devoted wife. Things are as usual here. The Loyal played another gig at The Skylark and we smashed it. SOLD OUT crowd, everyone was digging it, and I can’t even describe the feeling to you. Imagine you ran a four minute mile, every mile, for thirty miles, and everyone you ever knew was cheering for you the whole time. It was like that. （Is that what marathon’s like? Because fine, I will do one with you, if so.） All of the compromises we have made in our short but very passionate marriage are paying off. Thank you for supporting me. Your support in words and gestures and knowing a lot about how much this means to me has been super valuable. :） I thought about buying a bike to add to this very exciting eating right and exercising life I have begun and you would have definitely laughed me out of the store. I had a saleslady wheel one out for me to “try it on” but it was WAY too tall and I couldn’t balance so I FELL OVER right on my side like someone had pushed over a statue or something. My friend Toby and I （you remember Toby, the drummer for my band） were laughing so hard and I was so embarrassed that I didn’t try another one and left.