“Don’t question her process,” Greer says, bringing her glass of wine to her lips.
As requested by Keiko, we’ve moved up our Ladies in Heat book club meeting, because Keiko believes the information we’re learning in the pregnancy book is far too important not to discuss in sections rather than all at the end. I beg to differ.
If I were going to tell the truth here, I barely got through the required chapters. It’s just not my type of reading. Educational stuff is just . . . blah, boring.
I came tonight for three reasons—Arlo wasn’t going to be here, I want to ask about Pike being the man of honor, and the wine. Pike will pick me up later, so I’ll be drinking to my heart’s content and taking advantage of my drunkenness when I get home later. I plan on riding Pike until I can’t ride him any longer.
“Cora, are you paying attention?” Stella asks.
“Huh? Oh, sorry.” I raise my hand. “Present.”
“Attendance has been finalized,” Keiko says in an annoyed tone. “We are going over housekeeping items.”
“Oh, sorry.” I smile apologetically.
“Let me guess, you were daydreaming about Pike,” Stella says.
“Oh please, as if you weren’t caught doing that when you first started dating Romeo. You actually missed a book club meeting.”
“His penis was stuck inside me, I couldn’t leave.” Stella smirks. “Remember? Keiko went into great detail about how a cat’s—”
“Please, for the love of God, not that conversation again,” Greer says.
“At least I’m here, because if I was doing what I really wanted to be doing right now, I would be in my apartment tracing Pike’s piercings until he couldn’t take it any longer.”
“Piercings?” Stella asks, curling her feet under her on the couch and leaning on the armrest. “What kind of piercings?”
I wiggle my brows. “Those kind of piercings.”
“There are more than one?”
I hold up my fingers. “There are four.”
Stella fans her face. “What I wouldn’t give for Romeo to just have one. Four? God, I’m jealous.”
Keiko adjusts her glasses and says, “Your evasiveness is irritating. Please share with the group as to what sort of piercings you’re referring to. As far as I know, Pike has none.”
“Well, if you stuck your hand down his pants, you’d find out the kind of piercings he has.”
“Why on earth—” Keiko pauses. “Oh.” She clears her throat. “I see. Well, I was unaware of such a thing.”
“Not sure that’s something he shares with everyone.”
“Then why did you share it with us?” Keiko asks.
“The same reason why you told us Kelvin is getting the wart on his ass removed, because we’re girlfriends and we gab.”
With a dignified set to her shoulders, Keiko says, “I shared the news of the lancing of Kelvin’s wart because I felt it was important to keep all informed, in case he had a limp after. I didn’t want you to assume he pulled a muscle.”
“A pulled muscle is way better than the details of a wart removal from the ass, Keiko,” Stella says before taking a large sip from her wine glass.
“Well, now that I’m properly informed of your distaste for wart-removal anecdotes, I shall refrain from sharing any others.”
Greer claps her hands together. “Why don’t we talk about the ceremony we’re throwing for you next weekend?”
“If you must,” Keiko says. “But I don’t mind being surprised, either.”
“We don’t have to go into detail, but we can make sure we have everything you’d like.”
“We were able to book the string quartet you talked about,” Stella says.
“And I’ll have the donut wall organized so you can eat all the donuts you like,” I add.
“The tent and the rentals are all accounted for and we’re set with the Victorian Christmas theme, as requested.”
“Marvelous,” Keiko says, actually looking quite pleased.
“I do have one question,” I say, raising my hand for God knows what reason. “Why did you feel Pike was a better fit as your man of honor over one of us?” I motion to the girls, who both gasp and turn to Keiko.
“You asked Pike to be your man of honor?” Stella asks. “I know you’re friends, but . . . does he know about Kelvin’s ass-wart lancing?”
“In fact, he does not. I wasn’t acquaintances with him at the time of the lancing, therefore, I didn’t feel the need to inform him.”