“You want kids one day?”
“Don’t you?” I ask, not sure this restaurant is the place to be having this conversation.
“I haven’t given it too much thought.” She sets the book to the side. “I didn’t have a fine example of what a parent should be, so I guess I never thought I would be a good one.”
“Are you kidding me?” I ask. How could she think that? If anyone would be a wonderfully loving mum, it would be Cora. Yeah, she might tease her kids, perhaps pull a few pranks on them, but at the end of the day, I know she’d love her children more than anything. “Cora, you’ll be a beautifully loving mother.”
“How do you know that?” she asks. “It’s not like your first impression of me was super great.”
“And I’m sure a baby’s initial meeting of their screaming, crying mother as they come out of the womb isn’t a great first impression either, but we all have time to work on it.” I wink. “In all seriousness, I think what matters the most is you know what you’ve suffered from not having the parents you wish you had, therefore, in my heart, I know you’d try to be the parent you wish you’d had.”
Her eyes well and she glances away.
“Baby, look at me.”
She takes a few breaths, and when her eyes meet mine, two teardrops cascade down her rosy cheeks. I reach out and brush them away.
“When the time comes, when you’re ready, I know you’re going to be a great mum.”
“Thank you.” She runs her fingers over the back of my hand and asks, “Is that something, maybe down the line, you know, if this marriage turns out to be successful, that you’d want with me? Kids?”
When her eyes lift to mine, insecurity fills her pupils, and I can tell this could be a make-or-break for her. Funny thing is, there’s no anxiety rising in my chest. No qualms.
Just . . . excitement.
When Iris used to speak of marriage, children, and a family in the countryside, I felt choked, claustrophobic, like my world was closing in on me. But with Cora, it feels . . . right.
“Yes,” I answer honestly, straight from the heart. “That is something I would want with you, when the time comes, of course. I still need to defile you in every way I can first. Then we can move on to the next chapter of our lives.”
“How much more defiling is there?” she whispers.
“Oh, babe . . . so, so much more.”
Chapter Twenty
CORA
“I love him,” I whisper to Stella as we put the final touches on the backdrop for the altar, which we made of twigs, pine branches, and silver teardrop ornaments.
“Love who?” Stella asks. “The donut delivery guy? I mean, yeah, he was super convenient.”
“Not the donut delivery guy,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek as I look toward the house, where Pike, with Greer’s assistance, is helping Keiko get ready. Stella and I decided to hang back and make sure the finishing touches were complete.
“Then who—” She pauses and then slowly, very slowly, turns toward me, mouth open. “Wait . . . are you talking about Pike?”
I wince. “Maybe.”
Stella carefully lowers the bulbs in her hand and then stands tall. Taking a deep breath, she asks, “When? How?”
I pack up the extra bulbs and shrug. “I don’t know. It kind of happened all at once. He was taking a shower and I was playing around on my phone. He opened the bathroom door, walked out in his towel, and it was like a semitruck smacking me in the chest with these crazy, intense feelings. I’m in love with him, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know what to do about it? You tell him, you goof.”
“Tell him?” I shake my head. “No way. Are you insane? There’s no way I would tell him that.”
“Why not?”
“Uh, because it’s weird.”
Stella laughs and gathers the leftover boxes. “How is it weird to tell your husband that you love him?”
“Shhh,” I say, looking around. “Keep your voice down.” I grab the rest of the boxes, and we take them to the cart that Arlo so nicely brought into the tent for us. He’s been extra kind lately. I think Greer put him in his place, and I’m grateful for it. “I don’t need him overhearing this conversation.”
We set the boxes down and Stella straightens her dress. Luckily for us, we got to choose what we wore. Stella went with a silk lavender dress with an asymmetrical front and high-slit cut. She informed me Romeo had a hard time letting her out of the house. I chose a deep-blue floor-length dress with a high neckline but a non-existent back.