Cora: Oh my God! You two are not supposed to be on his side, you’re supposed to help me be the husband repellent. This is not helpful. This is actually very unhelpful. Do you not understand the words CODE RED? We’re in desperation mode, ladies. I need repelling ideas, not suggestions to maybe give it a shot with the man who’s calling himself my husband.
Stella: It would be a good story. Finding love in Fireball. Oh God, it would be full circle.
Cora: This is what I get for having two friends newly in love. I don’t need your romantic, lovely-dovey hearts controlling this conversation. I need the vengeful bitches. Where are they?
Greer: Riding unicorns, utterly in love.
Stella: While sipping iced tea, lying on the beach, our men’s nuts in the palms of our hands.
Greer: Oh yeah. We have them by the balls.
Stella: Which makes it that much more romantic. I love holding Romeo’s balls.
Greer: It’s a powerful feeling. You should try it, Cora. Bet you Pike has good balls.
Stella: Well-landscaped balls.
Greer: Not too big, just the right size.
Stella: And his penis has got to be big.
Cora: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?
Greer: Hmm, you know, I can see how this might not be helpful.
Stella: Yeah, I got slightly sidetracked.
Cora: Should I continue the “bad food” thing?
Greer: Wouldn’t hurt. Should we consider the “flaunting yourself” trick?
Cora: No, that’s what he’s doing, and let me tell you, it’s not making me want to flee. I’m nervous to bring this to school, where I know I could embarrass him, because Arlo doesn’t know. I think about being messy, but he’s being messy because he’s being an asshole like I told him to be, so, therefore, we can’t have two messy people. Ugh . . . what should I do? I feel like the phases we came up with aren’t going to cut it.
Stella: If only Keiko knew.
Cora: No. We can’t tell her.
Greer: Let me think on this. I’m sure there’s something we can do.
Cora: Everyone is required to do research and present ideas tomorrow morning. Got it?
Stella: After Romeo fucks me in the pool, it’s happening.
Greer: Once I take care of Arlo’s bedroom eyes, I’m all yours.
Cora: Ew!!
Feeling only marginally better, and since it’s getting dark, I head back to the apartment. I head up the stairs again, skipping the elevator in order to get some extra steps in for the day, and unlock my apartment door, only to see Pike lounging on the bed, TV turned on to some game, and papers in his lap.
Just perfect.
Well, the dishes aren’t going to do themselves. However, when I turn to the kitchen, I’m not greeted by a sink full of dirty dishes. Instead, they’ve all been washed or stacked in the dishwasher. The counters are clean, the lights are off, and even from here I can see he wiped down the dining room table.
Mother.
Fucker.
“Why did you do the dishes?” I ask in a seething tone.
He glances up at me. “The dishes are done? Huh, good job, wife.”
“I didn’t do them, you dick. You did.”
“I don’t recall that happening.” He glances down at the paper in front of him and marks something with his red pen.
“I’m not an idiot, Pike.”
“Good to know,” he mumbles, keeping his voice low.
Frustrated, I stomp toward the bathroom to get ready for bed, because, if anything, this day needs to end so I can recharge and reset for tomorrow. When I reach the bathroom, I stare into the mirror for a few seconds, just long enough for Pike to push through the door I left ajar and step into the crowded space. I’m about to say something to him when he leans forward, his bare chest brushing up against my back.
Involuntarily, I inhale from that brisk yet enticing contact, and my eyes connect with his in the mirror.
And in that moment, with his mysterious gaze staring back at me, I wonder. No, I do not want to be married again. I don’t. Been there. Done that. Got the divorce certificate. But I have no idea why Pike wants to give this a shot when he barely acknowledged me during the months he’s known me. So, why now? He hasn’t explained himself nor told me he’s actually attracted to me. No “I want this, Cora. I want us.” justification. Shouldn’t that come first? Shouldn’t he try to prove why he wants me?
Chapter Nine
PIKE
“Have you been able to make your wife fall in love with you yet?” Killian asks when I answer his FaceTime call.
It’s lunchtime, and instead of going to the break room, I’ve opted to stay in my classroom and catch a deep breath before the chaos of teaching know-it-all high schoolers commences once more.