“What do you mean, you went too far?” Stella asks. “You mean when you touched Sunflower’s . . . uh . . . stem?”
“Good one,” Greer says with a smile.
“Is that not talking about it anymore?” I ask.
The other night, when Pike dropped my thong off at the Atomic Saloon, I nearly had a heart attack, because it wasn’t a girls’ night, it was a friends’ gathering, with Gunner and Lindsay, Gunner’s baby mama and fiancée, showing up right after, and the last thing I needed was for Arlo to question why Pike was handing me a pink thong. Luckily for me, he was talking to Romeo about a new line of clothes Banana Republic was coming out with. I know this because Romeo was bitching about the boring conversation afterwards.
But once Pike left, I had to explain to Stella and Greer what happened between me and Pike, and I did a crap job of it, because honestly, I still don’t know what happened. I’m still confused about it all. Why I touched him, why I fingered myself to completion, his name heavy on my tongue. And I’m very much confused why I go to bed every night, hoping and praying that he touches me again.
Of course, I told them about his piercings, and Stella went on to tell me what a moron I was being, how I should totally give him a shot, and for a brief second, I thought about it, but then again, I just don’t want to be in a serious relationship right now.
Even if Pike and I had ended up having the hot and heavy night I’d wanted in Vegas, and even if I’d been really attracted to him before then, I didn’t want marriage. One night of fun. That’s what I was after.
Keenan was emotionally abusive, selfish, and vindictive. And living with a man who never sticks up for you and throws your wealth in your face as if you’re nothing without it, takes its toll. He never saw my value, or me as a human and, after being treated so badly, I know I need more time to find myself before I can give myself to anyone again.
I need to love myself before I can consider loving someone else. That’s one of the most helpful tips from therapy I’ve gained.
I told Greer and Stella we’re not to talk about what happened the other night between me and Pike ever again. Because if we complicate this arrangement with sex, Pike will believe we have a chance. Clearly, Stella didn’t get the clue.
“I’m just curious, you know . . . if you’ve done it again,” Stella says.
“No. I told you. It was a one-time thing and that I would never be doing it again.” Even though I desperately want to feel those piercings in my mouth.
“Then how did you go too far?”
I bite my bottom lip. “I’m surprised Arlo didn’t say anything to you,” I say to Greer.
She perks up at the mention of her husband’s name. “Say what to me?”
“He called me yesterday, you know, for his weekly chat to make sure I’m living my best life, aka, being overly protective, and he told me how Principal Dewitt had to step in for Sunflower yesterday. All day.”
“What?” Greer asks. “Why?”
“Because, I might have . . . uh . . . put an extreme amount of ex-lax in his coffee.”
“Oh God,” Stella says, pressing her hand to her forehead, while shaking her head. “Please tell me he didn’t do anything in front of the kids.”
“Not that I know of. I mean, he came home early, didn’t say anything to me, and was still wearing the same pants. But I know he wasn’t feeling well. There was no blame pointed in my direction, but he didn’t talk to me much either.” I glance over my shoulder. “I feel like that might have been too much.”
“Giving a man the runs when he’s supposed to be teaching all day, yeah, that’s pushing your luck.”
“I know.” I pop open my water bottle. “I was just so angry about him showing up at the Atomic Saloon. After the conversation I had with Arlo last night, the last thing I want him to know is what happened in Vegas.”
“He was in a bit of a mood last night,” Greer says. “And he does worry about you a lot. He was asking about you the other day, trying to see if you were okay. He said you haven’t been answering some of his texts.”
“Because I have a life and the last thing I want to talk to him about are stock options.”
Stella pops a grape into her mouth. “That really is a boring conversation. But what I want to know is if Sunflower came to school today. Did he make a full recovery?”
“He did. But he didn’t talk much to me this morning. Just a general good morning and see you later. I think I might have broken him.”