“Knew what, precisely?” Keiko crosses her arms over her chest.
“You two.” Kelvin motions between Pike and Keiko. “The reason you broke up with me is because of him.”
Ha . . . if he only knew.
If only Keiko knew.
Wait . . . does Keiko know?
She and Pike are close, so would he tell her?
The thought never crossed my mind until this very moment.
Keiko guffaws with her head thrown back. When she straightens again, she says, “We disassembled our romantic agreement because you showed no interest in raising offspring.” Head held high, acting as if she’s in a soap opera for nerds, she grips her stomach and says, “And I’m with child.”
I gasp, because . . . it feels like a gasping moment.
“With his child?” Kelvin asks, his face turning white.
Keiko glances at Pike. “No, you nimrod.” Huh, first time I think I’ve ever heard Keiko insult someone verbally without using a thesaurus. “The fetus developing in my uterus is yours, for you are the only man with whom I’ve shared coitus.”
“How do I know you’re not with him?”
The collective group’s heads ping back and forth, watching everything go down, and in my foggy head, I have to admit, what’s unfolding is quite entertaining. Takes my mind off what I’m dealing with.
That is, until . . .
“How do you know I’m not with Pike?” Keiko asks. “Because he’s married, you unwisely halfwit.”
Unwisely halfwit, that’s a good one. I think I shall use that—
Wait . . .
Did she just say Pike is married?
Kelvin adjusts his glasses. “Pike isn’t married.”
Keiko nods and I can feel everything in the room still as her voice comes out in slow motion.
“Indeed, he is. He’s legally bound to Cora.”
Fuuuuuuu—ck.
I don’t even bother to look at Arlo, because I know he’s staring me down, ready to pounce.
Kelvin takes a step closer. “Is that true, Pike?”
And in that moment, I know what Pike is going to say, not because he wants to get back at me, but because I know he’s a good guy, and seeing the desperation in Kelvin’s eyes for the truth, I know he’s going to give it to him.
“It’s true. We got married in Vegas.”
“What the actual fuck,” Arlo says loud enough for me to hear him from across the room. Greer tugs on his arm, but it’s no use, he’s headed right my way.
“You—you don’t love him?” Kelvin asks.
Keiko shakes her head. “I have not experienced any romantic feelings toward him. For, as I believe, my heart belongs to you.”
If I wasn’t so terrified of the angry brother approaching me, I would actually think this is a sweet moment, seeing Keiko reveal her feelings to Kelvin. But I have other things on my mind.
Like finding an escape route.
Brain not working to its full capacity—thank you, shots—I have no idea what to do other than pour another shot and hold it up to Arlo the moment he steps in front of me.
“To ease the pain?” I ask him.
But he doesn’t say a word, just fumes.
“Or perhaps a peace offering?”
“Cora, kitchen, now.”
I set the shot and bottle down and twist my hands together. “You know, that doesn’t sound like the place I want to be, because I’m afraid you’re going to yell at me and I really want to avoid that.” Gesturing toward the floor, I continue, “So if we can stay here, that would be preferable. Thanks.”
“You don’t think I’m going to yell at you out here?”
“I feel like it would be less likely.”
“Then you’d be wrong,” he says. When I don’t move, he continues, “Fine, we’ll do this here.” He pulls on his hair and says in a crazed tone, “You got married in Vegas? On your divorce-cation? What the hell were you thinking?”
“She wasn’t,” Keiko says from the side. “She was quite inebriated and on the prowl. I believe she’d have committed ‘till death do us part’ to a slot machine if they’d met at the altar.”
When did she become the comedian?
Looking over Arlo’s shoulder, I raise my hand to Keiko. “Got this, Keeks. Why don’t you go settle up with Kelvin?”
“I find your pending argument more stimulating at the moment.”
Of course she does.
“Cora, the last thing you need is another goddamn divorce. You just battled through the last one to keep your inheritance. You don’t think he’s going to do that as well?” Arlo motions to Pike, who’s still standing by the lounger.