We all eyed her warily, then shook our heads.
“Come on, you wimps!” Art3mis said. “Those are Hoffman lenses. You’re gonna need them.”
She motioned for us to put them on. When we complied, the clothing on each of our avatars abruptly changed, so that the three of us were dressed like the “Dork Squad” in Sixteen Candles. I was now “The Geek,” played by Anthony Michael Hall; Aech was John Cusack’s character, Bryce; and Shoto was their pal Cliff.
Aech took a look at us and then glanced down at herself. She turned to glare at Art3mis.
“Not cool, Arty.”
Art3mis laughed and then put on her own shades. As she did, her own avatar’s outfit changed once again, this time into the threads that Ferris Bueller wore on his day off. Black-and-white leather jacket. Leopard vest. The whole shebang. She gave her Ferris cosplay the finishing touch by pulling out a black beret and putting it on her head. Then she grinned at us and rubbed her hands together excitedly.
“OK, gang,” she said. “This place is a lot more dangerous than it looks. Don’t touch anything, don’t talk to anyone. Just follow my lead.”
We each removed our sunglasses and resumed our normal appearance. Then we followed Art3mis up the steps that led to the front entrance. Once Art3mis reached it, she threw open the front doors, and another needle drop kicked in: “Eighties” by Killing Joke.
Hearing the song, she grinned and popped her collar as she led us inside.
As Art3mis led us through the hallowed halls of Shermer High School, we began to see a lot of strange things.
Just inside the entrance, we passed a gaggle of jocks wearing identical blue-and-gray letterman jackets featuring the school mascot, a bulldog. I recognized Andrew Clark （Emilio Estevez’s character in The Breakfast Club） among them, along with Jake Ryan （Michael Schoeffling’s character from Sixteen Candles）。 They were both admiring a pep-rally banner that read GO BULLDOGS GO!
We also saw several posters urging students to attend the senior prom, which was scheduled for later tonight, in the main ballroom at the Shermer Hotel. Every night of the week was prom night here on Shermer. All year long.
“Hey guys,” Shoto called out, keeping his voice down to a loud whisper. “Over there! That’s her, isn’t it? Andie?”
He pointed out a familiar-looking girl with red hair who was walking toward us. It was Molly Ringwald again, but not the one from Sixteen Candles we’d spotted earlier on the bus. This was a slightly older Molly, with hair that was a much lighter shade of red.
“Wrong Ringwald,” Art3mis said, shaking her head. “That’s Claire Standish—the Molly from The Breakfast Club. We’re looking for the Molly from Pretty in Pink…And at this time of the morning, she should be right…over…there!”
She pointed down the hall, where we saw yet another Molly Ringwald walking to class. This incarnation wore a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles, her bright-red hair peeking out from beneath a black hat with a flower-print scarf wrapped around it. She was dressed in a pink sweater, over a pink blouse, and she did, in fact, look quite pretty in both of them.
“I hate this place,” Aech said, shaking her head as she took in our surroundings. “It’s like being stuck in the Matrix. With the Brat Pack.”
“That why I love it!” Art3mis replied. “Don’t yuck my yum, Aech. Don’t do it.”
“Hold on,” I said. “Andie Walsh didn’t attend this school in Pretty in Pink, did she?”
Art3mis shook her head.
“No,” she replied. “She attended another fictional school—Meadowbrook High in Elgin, Illinois. But Pretty in Pink’s characters and filming locations were amalgamated into Shermer, along with the rest of Hughes’s filmography. Keeps you on your toes…”
We continued to follow Andie at a distance, until she stopped to greet her friend Jena, who was retrieving some textbooks from her locker. Shoto took a few tentative steps toward Andie, but Art3mis grabbed him by the arm.
“Not yet,” she said. “We need to wait until she leads us to another NPC. Until he shows up, we have to keep our distance…”
I started to ask who she meant, but I was drowned out by an approaching male voice that was repeatedly shouting the phrase “Save Ferris!”
We turned and saw that the voice belonged to a tall blond boy making his way through the crowd. He was holding out an empty Pepsi can to passing students, many of whom were eagerly dropping money into it.