“Isn’t it a good thing?” I said. “It saves us a lot of trouble. We should have had to send her away, anyway. I believe she guessed, too. There was an expression on her face last night. I kept thinking of it, coming up in the car.”
“I don’t like it,” said Maxim. “I don’t like it.”
“She can’t do anything,” I argued. “If she’s gone, so much the better. It was Favell who telephoned of course. He must have told her about Baker. He would tell her what Colonel Julyan said. Colonel Julyan said if there was any attempt at blackmail we were to tell him. They won’t dare do it. They can’t. It’s too dangerous.”
“I’m not thinking of blackmail,” said Maxim.
“What else can they do?” I said. “We’ve got to do what Colonel Julyan said. We’ve got to forget it. We must not think about it anymore. It’s all over, darling, it’s finished. We ought to go down on our knees and thank God that it’s finished.”
Maxim did not answer. He was staring in front of him at nothing.
“Your lobster will be cold,” I said; “eat it, darling. It will do you good, you want something inside you. You’re tired.” I was using the words he had used to me. I felt better and stronger. It was I now who was taking care of him. He was tired, pale. I had got over my weakness and fatigue and now he was the one to suffer from reaction. It was just because he was empty, because he was tired. There was nothing to worry about at all. Mrs. Danvers had gone. We should praise God for that, too. Everything had been made so easy for us, so very easy. “Eat up your fish,” I said.
It was going to be very different in the future. I was not going to be nervous and shy with the servants anymore. With Mrs. Danvers gone I should learn bit by bit to control the house. I would go and interview the cook in the kitchen. They would like me, respect me. Soon it would be as though Mrs. Danvers had never had command. I would learn more about the estate, too. I should ask Frank to explain things to me. I was sure Frank liked me. I liked him, too. I would go into things, and learn how they were managed. What they did at the farm. How the work in the grounds was planned. I might take to gardening myself, and in time have one or two things altered. That little square lawn outside the morning room with the statue of the satyr. I did not like it. We would give the satyr away. There were heaps of things that I could do, little by little. People would come and stay and I should not mind. There would be the interest of seeing to their rooms, having flowers and books put, arranging the food. We would have children. Surely we would have children.
“Have you finished?” said Maxim suddenly. “I don’t think I want any more. Only coffee. Black, very strong, please, and the bill,” he added to the ma?tre d’h?tel.
I wondered why we must go so soon. It was comfortable in the restaurant, and there was nothing to take us away. I liked sitting there, with my head against the sofa back, planning the future idly in a hazy pleasant way. I could have gone on sitting there for a long while.
I followed Maxim out of the restaurant, stumbling a little, and yawning. “Listen,” he said, when we were on the pavement, “do you think you could sleep in the car if I wrapped you up with the rug, and tucked you down in the back? There’s the cushion there, and my coat as well.”
“I thought we were going to put up somewhere for the night?” I said blankly. “One of those hotels one passes on the road.”
“I know,” he said, “but I have this feeling I must get down tonight. Can’t you possibly sleep in the back of the car?”
“Yes,” I said doubtfully. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“If we start now, it’s a quarter to eight, we ought to be there by half past two,” he said. “There won’t be much traffic on the road.”
“You’ll be so tired,” I said. “So terribly tired.”
“No,” he shook his head. “I shall be all right. I want to get home. Something’s wrong. I know it is. I want to get home.”
His face was anxious, strange. He pulled open the door and began arranging the rugs and the cushion at the back of the car.
“What can be wrong?” I said. “It seems so odd to worry now, when everything’s over. I can’t understand you.”
He did not answer. I climbed into the back of the car and lay down with my legs tucked under me. He covered me with the rug. It was very comfortable. Much better than I imagined. I settled the pillow under my head.