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Rebecca(91)

Author:Daphne Du Maurier

“Do you know you were going through the most extraordinary antics instead of eating your fish?” said Maxim. “First you listened, as though you heard the telephone, and then your lips moved, and you threw half a glance at me. And you shook your head, and smiled, and shrugged your shoulders. All in about a second. Are you practicing your appearance for the fancy dress ball?” He looked across at me, laughing, and I wondered what he would say if he really knew my thoughts, my heart, and my mind, and that for one second he had been the Maxim of another year, and I had been Rebecca. “You look like a little criminal,” he said, “what is it?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly, “I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Tell me what you were thinking?”

“Why should I? You never tell me what you are thinking about.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever asked me, have you?”

“Yes, I did once.”

“I don’t remember.”

“We were in the library.”

“Very probably. What did I say?”

“You told me you were wondering who had been chosen to play for Surrey against Middlesex.”

Maxim laughed again. “What a disappointment to you. What did you hope I was thinking?”

“Something very different.”

“What sort of thing?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“No, I don’t suppose you do. If I told you I was thinking about Surrey and Middlesex I was thinking about Surrey and Middlesex. Men are simpler than you imagine, my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted tortuous minds of women would baffle anyone. Do you know, you did not look a bit like yourself just now? You had quite a different expression on your face.”

“I did? What sort of expression?”

“I don’t know that I can explain. You looked older suddenly, deceitful. It was rather unpleasant.”

“I did not mean to.”

“No, I don’t suppose you did.”

I drank some water, watching him over the rim of my glass.

“Don’t you want me to look older?” I said.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it would not suit you.”

“One day I shall. It can’t be helped. I shall have gray hair, and lines and things.”

“I don’t mind that.”

“What do you mind then?”

“I don’t want you to look like you did just now. You had a twist to your mouth and a flash of knowledge in your eyes. Not the right sort of knowledge.”

I felt very curious, rather excited. “What do you mean, Maxim? What isn’t the right sort of knowledge?”

He did not answer for a moment. Frith had come back into the room and was changing the plates. Maxim waited until Frith had gone behind the screen and through the service door before speaking again.

“When I met you first you had a certain expression on your face,” he said slowly, “and you have it still. I’m not going to define it, I don’t know how to. But it was one of the reasons why I married you. A moment ago, when you were going through that curious little performance, the expression had gone. Something else had taken its place.”

“What sort of thing? Explain to me, Maxim,” I said eagerly.

He considered me a moment, his eyebrows raised, whistling softly. “Listen, my sweet. When you were a little girl, were you ever forbidden to read certain books, and did your father put those books under lock and key?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Well, then. A husband is not so very different from a father after all. There is a certain type of knowledge I prefer you not to have. It’s better kept under lock and key. So that’s that. And now eat up your peaches, and don’t ask me any more questions, or I shall put you in the corner.”

“I wish you would not treat me as if I was six,” I said.

“How do you want to be treated?”

“Like other men treat their wives.”

“Knock you about, you mean?”

“Don’t be absurd. Why must you make a joke of everything?”

“I’m not joking. I’m very serious.”

“No, you’re not. I can tell by your eyes. You’re playing with me all the time, just as if I was a silly little girl.”

“Alice-in-Wonderland. That was a good idea of mine. Have you bought your sash and your hair-ribbon yet?”

“I warn you. You’ll get the surprise of your life when you do see me in my fancy dress.”

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