She dared to pluck a note from his harp.
Chapter 43
Adaira didn’t know what to expect from dinner that night. She nearly canceled on her parents—she felt weary and heartsick and wasn’t the least bit hungry—but when she entered Innes’s personal chambers to join them for the meal . . . Adaira was floored to discover Torin sitting at the table beside Sidra. The moment their eyes locked, Adaira felt the past rushing forward, as though a dam had broken. It honestly seemed as if no time had come between her and her cousin—hadn’t it only been yesterday that she and Torin raced through the heather in the east?—and she laughed as he rose and rushed to embrace her.
“When did you arrive?” Adaira exclaimed, leaning back in his arms to look him over.
Torin smiled. “I’m not sure what time. It was storming.”
“We must have just missed each other,” she said. “I’m so happy you’re here, Torin.”
“As am I, Adi. Come, we’ve been waiting on you.”
Adaira thought something about him seemed different as they walked to the table together. Something she couldn’t quite name, but all the same sensed. It was nothing bad—more like he had aged. He seemed softer and yet leaner, as if parts of him had been whittled away. She imagined that being in the spirits’ realm had left a mark on him, and she instantly felt that ache again in her chest.
Adaira found her seat at the table and closed her eyes for a breath, remembering. She could still see Jack vividly in her memory. The sight of him being consumed by flames with stars in his hair and an uncanny light in his eyes. A king among spirits.
“Where’s Jack?” Sidra asked.
Adaira glanced at the empty chair beside her, as if the sound of his name would prompt him to manifest. She stared at the place that had been set for him and then reached for her glass of wine. She took a long sip before making her announcement.
“He’s gone.”
Her words fell like frost on the table. But she felt the attention of her parents, who were bent toward her with concern and confusion, as well as Sidra’s compassion and Torin’s solemn understanding.
“He sang to end the storm,” Adaira explained, “and it required his mortality. The spirits took him.” And because she neither wanted to speak further of it nor be on the receiving end of pity, she began to fill her plate with food.
Torin followed suit, and then Sidra, even though she had gone very pale.
But Innes, who never danced around a conversation, said, “I’m sorry, Adaira.”
Adaira clenched her jaw and almost lost her composure—she could feel the tears stinging her eyes. She couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if she had been with Jack when he sang. If she had stood at his side when the fire burned.
He would have remained with her, this much she knew. He would have remained bound to her by oath and choice and love, three cords not easily broken. Bane would still reign beyond the veil of the world, and the west would have remained shadowed. No, she told herself, shaking away her emotion. This is how it was always meant to be. And she couldn’t fault Jack for knowing it as well, and for leaving her asleep in their bed.
She had been both his strength and his weakness.
“There is nothing to be sorry for,” she said, meeting her mother’s stare. “He was always destined to play for the spirits, to overcome the wind.”
Thankfully, Innes left it at that, and the meal began in uncomfortable silence. Adaira was keenly grateful to her father for changing the subject and getting directly to the heart of the matter.
“We’d like to maintain a relationship with you in the east,” David said to both Torin and Sidra. “And we think the trade would be a good way to build rapport between our clans.”
Torin glanced at Sidra, but Sidra looked to Adaira. It had always been her dream to establish a trade between east and west.
Adaira remained quiet. Of course, she still wanted the trade to happen. She simply felt too empty to guide this conversation, which she had never envisioned happening without Jack beside her. It was one of the reasons why they had handfasted so swiftly: he was to stand with her to oversee the first exchange, and hopefully during future trades. A partner to support her in this new and seemingly impossible endeavor.
Her eyes wandered to Jack’s plate again.
“We would like that as well,” Sidra replied, sensing Adaira’s grief. She turned her attention to David. “Have you given any thought to how you would like to proceed with it?”