“Ah, so you’re the cat and she’s the golden retriever,” I say, and she gives a startled burst of laughter.
“What?”
“In friendships or relationships, usually one person is the cat—guarded, a little standoffish—someone where you have to work for it. And then the other person is the golden retriever. Loves immediately and completely.”
“Licks faces? Humps things?” Amma asks, grinning, and I look back down the beach to where I can just make out Brittany still standing there with Eliza and Jake.
“Doesn’t look like it’s gotten that far yet,” I say, and Amma laughs again.
“So, I take it you’re also a cat.”
“Mm-hmm,” I say, nodding. “And Nico was a born golden retriever.” Now it’s my turn to shrug. “It’s why we work.”
Amma nods, shading her eyes. “I can see that. I was saying to Brittany the other night that you two are such couple goals.”
The thought gives me a little rush of pleasure. I’ve never really gotten to see me and Nico through anyone else’s eyes, and I’m suddenly curious to learn everything Amma thinks of us.
“You think so?”
“Oh, totally,” she replies, pushing her sunglasses back up her nose. Her skin is already starting to brown a little, her shoulders golden. Mine, I know, are already turning pink despite the layer of high-SPF I slathered on earlier. “Living in Hawaii, traveling the world together … that’s the dream, right?”
Amma smiles when she says it, but there’s something a little sad in it, and when she looks back out at the water, she says, “My boyfriend and I were going to do Europe like that. Maybe move on from there to Asia. He must’ve bought every travel guide he could find. Even got me one of those awful money belts for my birthday. You know, the kind that strap around your waist?” She gestures to her flat stomach, and I nod.
“I told him I’d die before I’d wear that, but honestly, it was kind of sweet, how excited he was. How prepared.”
She laughs a little, shaking her head, and then presses her lips together, her chin wobbling slightly.
“Did you … break up?” I ask, gently because I feel like we’re clearly straying into sensitive territory.
Amma’s hand reaches up to brush at her cheek. “Basically,” she says, then shakes her head again. “Anyway, it was probably a stupid idea anyway, and now I get to travel with Brittany, which is so much better.”
Amma flashes me a bright smile, and I smile back even though I can still see the track on her cheek where a tear slipped out.
And then, before I can ask more, she’s walking down the beach, gesturing for me to follow her.
We only go a few more yards before we find the place Jake must have been talking about. It’s like the lagoon where the boats are anchored, but much smaller, a cove surrounded on three sides by sand, and we don’t even pause before diving into the water.
When I break back through the surface, Amma laughs, splashing me with one hand.
“You just went full Little Mermaid,” she teases, miming throwing back her hair. I smile and let myself float on my back. The sky is as blue as it was yesterday, with only a few fat, puffy clouds lazily moving across it.
Peace begins settling over me in a way I haven’t experienced since Mom died. For the first time in years, I’m not worried about … anything. Not money or cancer, school or Nico. I can just float right here, literally, in the perfect present. I know it can’t last—this sort of tranquility is meant to be temporary, and I’ve learned the hard way that it’s smarter to always think about that next bend in the road, always be prepared for whatever is coming next. It’s when you stop doing that that the worst seems to happen, after all.
But I promise myself that I’ll try to savor it.
I feel Amma’s hand brush mine, and when I look to my right, she’s also floating next to me.
I wonder how long we can stay out here before Nico will begin to wonder about us. We didn’t bring anything—no phones, no towels, and while I lathered up before heading out, I know I’ll burn if we stay out too long.
“Oh, fuck!”
There’s splashing, a hand grasping for my leg.
I lift my head, and there it is.
The fin is small, black one minute, gray the next, all depending on how the light hits it. And while it’s nothing like the monster that loomed in my dreams after I saw Jaws for the first time, it’s enough to send my heart into my throat, my stomach plummeting to somewhere near my knees.