“Thirty, huh,” Nico says, bracing himself on his hands as he stretches out his legs. “That makes you the elder statesman, I suppose. I’m twenty-six, Lux is twenty-four—”
“Twenty-five now, twenty-four when you met me,” I correct him, and he nods.
“Right. And Brittany and Amma, you’re what? Twenty-two?”
They both nod, and Eliza gives a mock shudder. “Oh my god, Jake, we’re ancient! Does that makes us…” She pauses, her face twisting into a rictus of horror. “The responsible ones?”
“Christ, what a nightmare,” he replies, then stands, slightly unsteady. “Alright, I need to do something hideously irresponsible right this second lest I start checking my retirement fund and reading the Financial Times.”
With that, he reaches for the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it over his head in one easy motion before moving to the starboard side of the catamaran.
Before I can even clock what he’s doing, his trunks are sliding down his legs, his skin both golden and pale in the moonlight, and he leaps overboard with a whoop, the splash loud in the quiet night.
“You bloody lunatic!” Eliza hollers after him, and I lean over the side of the boat to see him floating there, grinning up at us as he treads water.
“Come on!” he calls back. “What’s the point of being on a deserted island if you don’t do a bit of skinny-dipping?”
Then Jake looks over at me. “Lux, I know you’re a fan,” he adds, winking, and my face goes hot all of a sudden.
He’d seen that? But then, even though this island is miles from anything, even though there’s no internet or cell phone service, definitely no social media, it’s not actually private. Not with all six of us sticking so close together.
Brittany is already moving to the side of the boat, shucking off her clothes and giggling, and Amma stands up, too, but doesn’t make any move to get undressed.
“Britt, come on,” she says. “It’s dark, and you don’t know what’s down there. It could be dangerous.”
“Oh, because you suddenly care so much about people being reckless,” Brittany replies. She’s still smiling, but Amma flinches like Brittany had hit her, actually stepping back and nearly bumping into Nico.
“You okay?” I hear him ask her, and she nods even as Brittany, naked and beautiful in the moonlight, gives a shriek and jumps into the water.
“There’s a girl!” Jake crows, and Eliza sighs, standing up and reaching for the ties of her sundress.
“If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” she says, and soon there’s a third splash, more giggling, and shrieks from the water.
My brain feels hazy and unfocused as I watch their pale bodies cutting through the dark water, the moonlight dancing on the gentle waves. They’re all smiling, joking around, as Eliza twines herself around Jake, his biceps flexing as he holds her there in the water. I think again about Jake watching me and Nico earlier, wondering if he liked it, if he looked at us the way I think I might be looking at him and Eliza now.
As though she senses my gaze, Eliza looks up. “Coming, Lux?” she calls, and I am just about to unbutton my shorts when I hear Amma say, “I think I want to go back to the Susannah. I’m not feeling so great.”
“Rum’ll do that,” Nico says, then glances over at me.
“You gonna swim or come back with us?”
I want to jump into that warm water with Jake, Eliza, and Brittany, I want to swim naked under the moon in this gorgeous place, but there’s something about the idea of Nico and Amma alone on our boat that I don’t like.
So I drop my hand from my waistband and turn away from the water, hearing Brittany call out, “Come on, Lux!”
“Maybe tomorrow!” I reply, and all three of them boo and hiss, Eliza giving me a thumbs-down, making me laugh.
The three of us head back to the Susannah in our tender, Amma going almost immediately to the cabin and shutting the door.
It’s only when I’m settled in my bed with Nico, my head spinning, my mouth sticky and dry, that I remember that moment with her and Brittany, the pain—no, the near devastation—that had flashed across Amma’s face.
Oh, because you suddenly care so much about people being reckless?
What had that meant? And why had it hurt Amma so much?
“Do you think there’s something going on with Amma and Brittany?” I whisper, my voice so low I can hardly hear it.
But Nico is already asleep.
BEFORE