I can barely remember the night before—a haze of smoke and fire—and though I’d only smoked hash once before in my life, I didn’t remember it making me feel this wretched. I’d sell my soul right now for a bottle of water, and I slowly stand, brushing stray sand from the backs of my legs before turning toward the lagoon.
The sun has just come up, painting the sky a rosy pink, and the water is still, glassy.
It’s so beautiful that it takes me a moment to realize there’s something wrong with what I’m seeing.
To my left, the Azure Sky floats contentedly in her usual spot.
But she’s the only ship in the lagoon.
The Susannah is missing.
* * *
BRITTANY IS CURLED UP IN a mound of blankets behind me, and when I shake her awake, her eyes are a little swollen, her lips dry and flaky.
“What?” she mutters, and I point wordlessly toward the water. She stares blankly before realizing what has sent my stomach plummeting.
“Where is the Susannah?” She sits up, wide awake now. “And where’s Amma?”
It all comes back to me. The party last night. Nico had been kissing Amma. My drug-addled brain had initially thought it was Brittany, but given who Nico’s been fucking, it was definitely Amma.
And now the boat is gone, and Brittany and I are alone on the beach.
The other day, I’d thought the island was starting to feel claustrophobic. Now, looking out at that wide expanse of water, I feel impossibly small. If Nico has left us behind …
No.
No, he wouldn’t do that. Nico is a lot of things, and I’ve only recently realized how shitty some of those things are, but he’s not that kind of asshole. He wouldn’t just abandon me, leave me alone with these strangers, and take off with some new girl on some new adventure.
Would he?
“We need to tell Jake and Eliza,” I say, and head for the shoreline.
I’m still in my shorts and T-shirt from last night, but I don’t care, throwing myself into the ocean and swimming for their boat. It’s just a few yards away, and the water is so warm and still that it makes for a quick swim.
Hoisting myself up on the deck, I push wet hair out of my eyes and look back toward where the Susannah usually is, still struck by its absence.
“Lux?”
I turn.
Amma is on the deck, half-sprawled on one of the benches along the bow. She looks a little worse for wear, her hair a tangled mess, her eyes red as she blinks at me.
Relief floods through me.
Nico didn’t take Amma with him.
The door separating the cabin from the deck slides open, and Jake and Eliza emerge, sleepy and rumpled, yet somehow still golden and beautiful.
“What’s going on?” Eliza asks.
I gesture out to the lagoon. “Nico’s gone. Or at least, the boat’s gone.”
By now, Brittany is on deck, wringing out her wet hair, and all five of us stand at the port side of the Azure Sky, looking at the open water.
“What? How? I didn’t even hear anything last night,” Jake says in confusion. “Although, I guess we were all pretty out of it.”
He turns to Amma. “When did you last see Nico?”
I’m unprepared for how much this stings. For how quickly Amma has become The One Who Would Know Where Nico Is, because clearly, I sure as fuck don’t.
“On the beach last night. The moon was pretty, and I was, you know. Super high, so I swam out. Got kind of confused and climbed up here, went to sleep.” She shrugs. “It’s all kind of a blur, honestly.”
I look back to where the Susannah should be, like I can somehow will it to reappear. Last night was a blur, and we were all fucked up. Is that how Nico was able to sail away with no one hearing him?
I stand there, hands gripping my hair, and my stomach somersaulting. Jake steps forward, taking my arm. “Hey, hey, hey,” he says in a soothing voice. “Don’t panic, okay? He’s probably just gone for a sail. Maybe he wanted some time alone on the water to clear his head.”
“This is not a fucking Jimmy Buffett song, it’s real,” I snap. “And if something happens to him out there—”
Jake’s Cool Guy thing is irritating. Yesterday, I’d found his laid-back charm refreshing and more than a little sexy. Today, I just wish someone would panic with me a little bit.
But no one is going to.
Brittany is tugging at the ends of her damp hair while Eliza has her arms folded over her chest, simply watching this all play out.
Amma scrubs her hands over her face before reaching into a canvas bag at her feet. She pulls out her phone and I feel this immediate, instinctual surge of relief. Yes, we’ll call his phone, we’ll call someone—