I lift my free arm and wrap it around her shaking body. “Estoy bien, Mami. I’ll be fine. It was just an accident.”
Maya places a trembling hand on my shoulder. “Santi—” The way she looks at me has the beeping machine kicking into overdrive. Her stare sets off every internal alarm, and I struggle to understand why.
My brain moves at a snail’s pace to catch up on everything. “What’s going on—”
An older doctor walks into the room, interrupting me. He flips through a few papers on his clipboard. “Oh, good. I’m glad to see you’re awake, Santiago.”
“Who are you?”
He smiles. “My name is Dr. Michaelson. We are relieved that you’re up and talking. We were all worried about you, especially your family. You’ve been through a traumatic experience.”
“Why am I here?” My brows draw together.
His smile remains bright and warm, but it does nothing to calm my erratic heart rate. “You’re recovering from a surgery. I’m the doctor who was assigned to your case and I plan on helping you through this whole process.”
“Surgeon? Why do I need you?”
Whatever I said makes my mom grip onto my shoulder, her nails biting into the hospital gown covering my body. Another sob escapes her, and the sound hits me right in the chest.
The doctor clears his throat. “You’ve been through a lot within the last twenty-four hours. I can tell you’re a strong man. Are you in any pain right now?”
Pain? Everything inside of me feels…numb. Nothing like how I usually am after a crash with my limbs aching and my head hurting. It’s as if someone hit a reset button on my body, and I’m still booting up.
“No. I don’t feel anything.” I bristle when I meet the doctor’s gaze.
There’s that look again. Something in his eyes doesn’t sit right with me.
The doctor scans my body before offering me another reassuring smile. “I’m sorry we have to meet under this kind of circumstance. I’m a huge fan of your driving.”
The heart-monitoring machine’s tempo increases as the doctor’s eyes flit from me to my family. “If it’s okay with you, Santiago, I’d like to speak with you privately for a moment.”
No one says a damn thing. Not one single person makes a move to leave the room. It’s so damn silent, the IV drip makes more noise than the people surrounding me.
Whatever the doctor has to say can’t be good. Fuck. Is it cancer? A ruptured organ? Why would I need a surgeon in the first place?
I fist my trembling hands, unsure if I can do this on my own. “Anything you need to say can be said in front of them.”
Doctor whatever-his-name-is’s brows draw together as he takes a deep breath. “You’re currently heavily medicated, so I apologize for any confusion you might be experiencing at the moment.” The doctor walks up to the end of my bed. His warm smile drops a fraction, becoming something I don’t want to see. Growing up poor and an underdog allows me to recognize pity instantly. It’s written all over the doctor’s face. It catches me off guard because I haven’t experienced it in some time. Not since I made it and became someone. Not since I started living my dream and proving everyone who doubted me wrong.
A bead of sweat drips down my forehead. “Just get on with it. You’re making me nervous.”
The doctor’s frown becomes more pronounced. “I’m very sorry, Santiago, but you had an extremely traumatizing accident.”
“No shit. Get to the point,” I bite out.
Maya takes in a sudden breath. “Santi.”
“It’s all right. I can imagine this is stressful and I’m not helping. Not to mention, mood changes and fogginess are expected with the amount of morphine they gave you to combat the pain.” His eyes move from my face to the lower half of my body.
I tense.
He releases a shaky breath. “I want you to know that the accident wasn’t your fault. There was absolutely nothing you could have done to change what happened today. I’m very sorry to tell you that we could not save the bones below your right knee. They shattered on impact, along with the cartilage, to the point that there was nothing left for us to work with in the operating room. We were able to conduct the emergency amputation to ensure the rest of your leg could be saved…”
Everything around me stops. The whooshing of the machines. My family’s cries as they break down in front of me. The whole damn world fades to a gray so dark, it borders on black. One word hits me like a battering ram to my skull.