And then it was over.
He groaned and slid off her.
‘Thanks, darling,’ he’d said, as if she had been doing him a favour. She had almost said, ‘You’re welcome,’ as an automatic response.
She sat up, businesslike, pulled her tights from round her ankles and righted her skirt. The buttons on her blouse were trickier as her hands were shaking so violently, but somehow she managed. He stayed where he was, sprawled in a post-orgasmic state of bliss she imagined, although she didn’t look at him too carefully. She just wanted to leave, to get away.
But first, she had to make sure. ‘So, you’ll tell Mike that you want me for the part?’ she asked, making her voice as steady as she could. She was going to be bold. She owed that to herself, at least, but she hardly dared listen for the answer.
He opened his eyes and looked up at her. For a moment, he seemed confused about what she was asking, but then it came back to him.
‘Oh, Into the Blue . Yes, darl. That’s yours.’
He closed his eyes again. Evelyn stood rooted to the spot, not knowing if she was dismissed or whether there was more expected of her, but then she heard his breathing deepen. He was asleep. She straightened her hair, slipped her bare feet into her shoes and retrieved her bag and coat. And then she left the suite.
Now, back in her room in the tiny, freezing cold flat, the only thing that mattered was that she had the part. The rest of it would fade in time. She had done what she needed to do. There was no point dwelling on it. She wasn’t the first and she certainly wouldn’t be the last. She should consider it to be merely a part of the job and move on, and hopefully it need never happen again. It was simply the way to get her foot on the ladder, that was all, her kick-start. She repeated this to herself as the tears trickled down her cheeks.
A noise on the landing outside the flat brought her attention back to the present. She heard a key turning in the lock. It would either be Brenda or their landlord who, despite their protestations, seemed to consider it perfectly acceptable to come and go as he pleased with no concern for the privacy of his tenants. Evelyn’s heart gave a little flutter in her chest. She hoped it wasn’t him. She would have to skulk around in her room until he had gone, as she owed him rent that she currently had no means of paying. He wasn’t an unreasonable man and would give her more time if she asked, but she really couldn’t face having to throw herself on his mercy – not today, not now.
But then Brenda called out. ‘Evie? Are you here?’
Evelyn straightened her spine and sniffed back her tears. She leaned over to check her face in the age-spotted mirror, to straighten her hair.
‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘Give me a mo. I’m just . . .’
But then the door of her room opened and Brenda’s face appeared, a heavy plaid scarf wrapped several times around her neck so her head appeared to have been planted on the top like a pineapple.
‘Hi, Evie. Only me. I was just . . .’ Brenda stopped mid-sentence and eyed her perceptively. ‘Is everything okay?’
For a split second, Evelyn considered telling her flatmate exactly how she was, what had happened and how she felt. Brenda was a good listener. She wouldn’t condemn her; she would understand that Evelyn had had no choice and what she had done had been the only path open to her. And it would feel good to talk to someone, wouldn’t it?
But then she thought about the rumours, the stories that might start to circulate about how she had got the part, and she decided against it. She pulled her face into a wide, bright smile, just like she had on stage countless times, and said, ‘Yes. I’m fine. I’ve just woken up, that’s all. And guess what? I’ve got some incredible news.’
13
Evelyn loved a wedding. Weddings were just like a stage performance, with everyone knowing their role, their lines and their cues. Never having starred in one herself, Evelyn was happy to sit with the other extras, looking lovely and reacting as required as the main players acted out their parts at the front. It was, she felt, a lovely way to pass an afternoon.
This ceremony was taking place at Camden Register Office. Evelyn much preferred a church wedding and that was definitely what she would have chosen if she were getting married, but Brenda and Jim were only doing this to appease their parents, and so long white dresses and bloom-adorned pews were not on their wish list.
It was, at least, a bright March day. The perishing cold of winter was slowly being replaced by something less bone-numbing but Evelyn, taking no chances, was wearing a maxi dress. It was an old favourite – she didn’t have the budget for anything else just yet – but she didn’t think she had ever worn it with Brenda. It had felt a little tight when she’d struggled into it this morning, however. She would need to keep an eye on that. Everyone knew that the small screen added at least ten pounds.