‘So where’s the problem?’ Pip asked.
He pulled his gaze from the window and focused on her instead. ‘I’ve been punching above my weight with Teresa. She’s way out of my league. Always has been. Her dad works in futures, whatever that is, and her mum’s a consultant at Colchester Hospital. They’re hardly like you and me.’
Pip could feel herself bristle a little at being lumped in with Jez, but she checked herself. She had to accept that they were fundamentally the same, despite all her efforts to differentiate herself.
‘And Teresa’s got a degree and an amazing job. She’s flying high. Pretty soon it was going to dawn on her that Jez Walker, lowly farmhand from Hicksville, didn’t fit into the picture. To be honest with you, I can’t believe I got away with it for as long as I did.’
‘That’s crap,’ said Pip, angry now on his behalf. ‘She was marrying you for you, not your job description. The rest of it shouldn’t matter if she really loves you.’
Jez peered at her through his lashes. ‘Says the girl who changed her name to something posher the minute she moved away,’ he said, and there was something bitter in his tone that made her feel ill at ease. Was that really what he thought, what they all thought? Then again, that was exactly what she had done; she just hadn’t realised it was so very transparent.
Jez seemed to understand that he might have hit a nerve, and he lowered his eyes again to defuse the tension.
‘Anyway, none of that matters,’ he said, ‘because Teresa’s called the whole thing off. Returned the ring. The works.’
He pulled a black velvet box out of his jeans pocket and flicked it open with his thumb. Inside was a very pretty ring with a diamond solitaire. Pip knew it was probably only around a quarter of a carat and immediately hated herself for both knowing that and thinking it.
Jez snapped the box shut and slammed it on the table.
‘So that’s that. I’m a single man once more. No big country wedding for me. Shit, the grapevine will be having a field day.’
‘Ignore them,’ Pip snapped. ‘It’s none of their bloody business. You just need to talk to Teresa. She’ll change her mind. It’s probably just pre-wedding nerves.’
‘Nah,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘That bird’s flown. We’ve been talking round it all week. Her mind’s made up. She’s very sorry and all that, but I’m history.’
He dropped his head again and rested it on his forearms. There was nothing else Pip could say or do except let him know she was there for him if he needed her. She gave his rounded shoulders a little squeeze then left him to his misery.
As she climbed the stairs to her room, it occurred to her that for the first time in almost as long as she could remember, she was the one offering help rather than having it offered to her, and it felt good.
36
Pip spent the following few days thinking about her forthcoming meeting with Evelyn, and each time she did her insides fluttered. She thought it was nerves at first, the feeling, any feeling in fact, being so unfamiliar. It wasn’t that Evelyn was at all scary, but she did seem to have a way of seeing straight to the heart of Pip in a way that others hadn’t done. Pip was used to being more guarded, to keeping her own counsel, and yet all that had gone out of the window the moment Evelyn had begun to probe. Pip couldn’t decide if it was because Evelyn was particularly perceptive, or because she was ready to open up, and in the end she settled on it being a little of both.
But it wasn’t nerves, Pip recognised now – it was excitement. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt excited about something, and she liked it. She thought about what they would talk about, imagined the two of them finding numerous points of connection as each spread out their lives before the other in ever-increasing detail. There was definitely a certain something between them, a mutual understanding, a bond. Pip could feel it even if she wasn’t quite sure how it was going to pan out yet.
Audrey had sniffed a little when she told her that she wouldn’t be in the shop on Wednesday, but there wasn’t much she could do about it, and until now Pip had never missed a shift so she didn’t really have that much to complain about.
When Wednesday finally rolled round, Pip was ready and standing on Evelyn’s doorstep at exactly two o’clock. She could feel her heart beating a little faster than usual, but it wasn’t warning her of an impending panic attack. This was more about the pleasurable anticipation of what was to come.