Jules barely answers before I blurt out, “I’ve got a huge problem.”
“Is this about the cake? Because I don’t think huge can ever be a problem in that regard. Whether it’s of the flesh or baked good variety, huge dicks are never a problem.”
“No. It’s not about the cake, though I did get a few odd looks on the subway. The private room reservation was cancelled.”
“Oh, no. Why?” Jules asks.
“Okay, not necessarily cancelled,” I sigh. “I forgot to confirm the reservation and the restaurant gave it to the next party on the waitlist. I’m so screwed! Where am I going to find a place that will fit sixteen people with such short notice? I’m going to have to cancel the party. Lauren’s mom and aunt and sister flew into New York this afternoon just for the party. Not to mention her co-workers and friends. Friends that I haven’t met yet, but will soon learn that I’m an incompetent bridesmaid for messing this up. She’s going to be devastated.”
“Okay. Time out. Just breathe. Where are you now?” she asks.
“I’m at JoAnna’s apartment. There was an issue with a review copy order and she needed me to stop by. She flew to Los Angeles this afternoon. Maybe I can try calling Vance at The Magnolia. JoAnna’s done so many events there. Maybe he can cram us into one of the conference rooms. Or—”
“Wait. So, you’re in JoAnna’s penthouse and she’s gone for the weekend?”
“Yes!” I exclaim. “Sorry, I don’t mean to snap at you, but I’m under a lot of pressure here and you keep asking where I am, but it’s not where I am that’s important, it’s where I need to be…finding a location for Lauren’s party.”
“That’s where I think you’re wrong.” I can hear her smiling through the phone.
“Listen, Jules, I know you love a good brain teaser, but the clock is running down on me here, so I need straightforward responses.”
“It’s the simplest answer. You should have the party at JoAnna’s.”
I take another shot because hosting your friend’s bachelorette party in your boss’s penthouse apartment without her permission is super stressful. When Jules originally suggested it, my gut reaction was hell, no but then Lauren texted me how excited she was for the party and with no other options this late in the game, I caved, sending a mass text with the updated address.
The thing is I couldn’t even ask JoAnna for permission even if I wanted to. Her flight would land at LAX long after Lauren’s party was scheduled to start. And what if she said no? JoAnna has been nothing but kind to me, even motherly as I navigate this city on my own, but using her apartment for a personal gathering is definitely crossing into inappropriate territory. I scratch at my neck. Either the sequins on this rented dress are irritating my skin or breaking the rules is giving me hives.
In addition to giving me the idea to host the party at JoAnna’s, Jules called a caterer friend of hers that was able to make extra hors d’oeuvres last minute. She didn’t have time or ingredients for me to make personal selections so I was at the mercy of what Jamie and Greg picked for their Hawaiian luau themed wedding reception. So, Luau Thai chicken and sweet and sour meatballs it is!
While the rest of the ladies are out in JoAnna’s living room, snacking and sipping on drinks, thanks to an alcohol delivery service, I pull my custom-made pin the junk on the hunk game out of my tote. That’s right, Etsy, I made it myself and saved fifty bucks. Although the guy at Kinkos gave me a funny look when it came off the machine.
Ryan Gosling smiles back at me, the over-muscled body double I used for the lower half is disproportionate to the size of his head. The empty spot between his legs the intended target for my printed and hand-cut paper dicks.
“Chloe!” I can hear my friend Claire yelling for me down the hall.
Claire, Lauren and I were three peas in a pod growing up. Claire lives in Seattle now and while we haven’t been the best at keeping in touch, when she arrived an hour ago, we easily picked back up where we left off in high school.
“The dicks are coming!” I shout as I pull the paper dicks out of the bag, but she’s already there in the doorway, and I hold up the poster so she can check out Ryan Gosling on steroids. I wave the paper dicks around, then I explode with the giggles at my little joke. “Get it? They’re coming?”
“Hilarious,” she deadpans before waving me out toward the hallway.
I’m still laughing as she waves her hands, urgently motioning me out of the guest room where I’ve stashed all the party supplies. I didn’t think pin the junk on the hunk would garner such enthusiasm.