I’m not going to do this right now.
I’m not going to lead him on when he has no idea who I am.
I’m also not going to risk this job by fraternizing with customers. “Can you go?” I whisper it, but loud enough for him to hear it.
He makes a face. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, I just really need to finish this.”
His jaw tightens, and he pushes off the wall. “It’s just that you act like you’re mad, and I feel kind of bad about last night . . .”
“I’m fine.” I look back at the customer service desk, and Amy is still staring. I face Ledger and plead with him. “I really need this job. And right now, my potential new boss keeps looking over here, and no offense, but you’re covered in tattoos and look like trouble, and I need her to think I’m not going to give her any issues at all. I don’t care what happened last night. It was mutual. It was fine.”
He nods slowly and then grips the handle of his shopping cart. “It was fine,” he repeats, seemingly offended.
For a moment, I feel bad, but I’m not going to lie to him. He put his hand down my jeans, and if we hadn’t been interrupted, we probably would have ended up fucking. In his truck. How spectacular could it have been?
But he’s right—it was more than fine. I can’t even look at him without staring at his mouth. He’s a good kisser, and it’s toying with my head right now because I have so many more important things going on in my life than his mouth.
He stands silent for a couple of seconds and then reaches into a sack in his cart. He pulls out a brown bottle. “I bought caramel. In case you come back.” He tosses the bottle into the cart. “Anyway. Good luck.” He looks uneasy when he turns and walks out the door.
I try to continue filling out the form, but I’m shaking now. I feel like I’ve got a bomb strapped to me and it ticks down in his presence, getting closer and closer to exploding my secrets all over him.
I finish filling out the application, but my handwriting is sloppy because of my trembling hands. When I return to customer service and hand it to Amy, she says, “He your boyfriend?”
I play dumb. “Who?”
“Ledger Ward.”
Ward? The bar is called Ward’s. He owns the bar?
I shake my head, answering Amy’s question. “No, I hardly know him.”
“Shame. He’s a hot commodity around here since he and Leah broke up.”
She says that like I’m supposed to know who Leah is. I guess in a town this size, most people know most people. I glance back at the door Ledger disappeared through. “I’m not in the market for a hot commodity. Just a lukewarm job.”
Amy laughs and then browses my application for a moment. “Did you grow up here?”
“No, I’m from Denver. I came here for college.” That’s a lie—I never went to college—but it’s a college town, and my intentions were to eventually go. That just never happened.
“Oh, yeah? What’s your degree in?”
“Didn’t finish. That’s why I’m back,” I lie. “Registering for next semester.”
“This job is perfect for that; we can work around your classes. Be here Monday at eight for orientation. Do you have a driver’s license?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ll bring it.” I leave out the fact that I just got my driver’s license last month, after months of working to get it reinstated. “Thank you.” I try to say that with as little eagerness in my voice as possible, but so far things are working out. I have an apartment and now a job.
Now I just need to find my daughter.
I turn to walk away, but Amy says, “Wait. Do you want to know how much you’re making?”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.”
“Minimum wage. Ridiculous, I know. I don’t own this place, or I’d raise it.” She leans forward and lowers her voice. “You know, you can probably get a job at the Lowe’s warehouse. They pay twice that starting out.”
“I tried online last week. They won’t hire me with my record.”
“Oh. Bummer. Well. See you Monday, then.”
Before I go, I tap my fist on the counter and ask a question I probably shouldn’t ask. “One more thing. You know the guy I was talking to? Ledger?”
She raises an amused brow. “What about him?”
“Does he have kids?”
“Just a niece or something. She comes in here with him sometimes. Cute girl, but I’m pretty sure he’s single and childless.”