He thrusts so hard, over and over, until we somehow end up on the floor next to the inflatable mattress, covered in sweat and out of breath by the time it’s over.
We wind up in the shower together, my back against his chest. The water is running over us as he holds me quietly.
The thought of saying goodbye to him at some point makes me want to curl up and cry, so I try to convince myself that I’m wrong about the Landrys. I try to lie to myself by saying things will work out between us. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not this month, but hopefully Ledger is right. Maybe one of these days he can change their minds.
Maybe he’ll say something to them that will plant a seed, and that seed will grow and grow until they start to feel empathy for me.
Whatever happens, I’ll always be grateful to him for the forgiveness he gave me, whether I get it from anyone else or not.
I turn around and face him; then I lift my hand and touch his cheek. “I would have fallen for you even if you didn’t love Diem.”
His expression shifts, and then he kisses the inside of my palm. “I fell for you because of how much you do.”
Dammit, Ledger.
I kiss him for that.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
LEDGER
It’s funny how life works out. I should be waking up in an oceanfront resort next to my brand-new wife, celebrating our honeymoon right now.
Instead, I’m waking up on an inflatable mattress in a barren apartment, next to a woman I’ve spent so many years angry at. If someone would have showed me this moment in a crystal ball last year, I would have wondered what could possibly have happened that would cause me to make a string of horrible decisions.
But now that I’m in this moment, I realize I’m here because I finally have clarity. I’ve never felt more certain about the choices I’ve made in my life than I do today.
I don’t want Kenna to wake up yet. She looks peaceful, and I need a moment to formulate a plan for today. I want to confront this sooner rather than later.
I’m scared of what the outcome will be, so a huge part of me wants to wait a couple of weeks so Kenna and I can live in secret bliss, full of hope that things are going to go her way.
But the longer we wait, the sloppier we’re going to get. The last thing I want is for Patrick and Grace to find out I’ve been lying to them before I can calmly confront them with my thoughts.
Kenna moves her arm to cover her eyes and then rolls onto her side. She tucks herself against me and moans. “It’s so bright in here.” Her voice is raspy and sexy.
I run my hand down her waist, over her hip, and then grip her thigh, pulling her leg over me. I kiss her cheek. “Sleep well?”
She laughs against my neck. “Sleep well? We had sex three times and then had to share a full-size inflatable mattress. I think I slept an hour, tops.”
“It’s after nine. You slept more than an hour.”
Kenna sits up. “What? I thought the sun just came up.” She tosses the covers aside. “I was supposed to be at work by nine.”
“Oh, shit. I’ll give you a ride.” I search for my clothes. I find my shirt, but Kenna’s kitten is curled up asleep inside of it. I lift her and set her on the couch and then start to pull on my jeans. Kenna is in the bathroom brushing her teeth. The door is open, and she’s completely naked, so I freeze in the middle of getting dressed because she’s got a perfect ass.
She sees me staring in the mirror and laughs, then kicks the bathroom door shut with her foot. “Get dressed!”
I finish getting dressed, but then I join her in the bathroom because I want some of her toothpaste. She scoots aside as she’s rinsing, and I start to squeeze some toothpaste on my finger, but she opens a drawer and pulls out a package that has a toothbrush in it.
“I bought a double pack.” She hands me the extra toothbrush and then leaves the bathroom.
We eventually meet at the front door. “What time do you get off work?” I pull her to me. She smells like fresh mint.
“Five.” We kiss. “Unless I get fired.” We kiss some more. “Ledger, I have to go,” she mutters against my mouth. But we kiss again.
We make it to the grocery store by a quarter to ten. She’s forty-five minutes late, but by the time we stop saying goodbye, she’s fifty minutes late.
“I’ll be here at five,” I say as she goes to close her door.
She smiles. “Just because I put out now doesn’t mean you have to be my chauffeur.”
“I was your chauffeur before you put out.”
She closes the door but then comes around to my side of the truck. I already have my window down, and she leans in and gives me one final kiss. When she pulls back, she pauses for a moment. It looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t. She just stares silently for a few seconds, like something is on the tip of her tongue, but then she backs away and runs into the store.