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Return to Virgin River (Virgin River #19)(38)

Author:Robyn Carr

“No, you’re not sorry about my career,” she said, putting her own glass down. “You wanted me to fail.”

“That’s not true. I wanted you to be with me, not fail. I was always your biggest fan. I just didn’t want us to have separate lives. You do realize how little time we spent together, don’t you?”

“I was working,” she said. “You were working! There was no other way. The only other way was for me to give up my career and it was just getting off the ground when we got married.”

“I’m sorry, Laura. It just isn’t going to work. The cold truth is, I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can remember having those feelings but…”

“You pretend that girl has nothing to do with this, but she must. You’ve never been like this before.”

“I don’t know if things might have been different if you’d decided to come back to me five years ago, but honestly, I don’t think so. I think our relationship died a long time ago. We just didn’t get around to burying it.”

“It almost sounds as if you never loved me at all,” she said.

“Oh-ho, I had such passion for you it made me light-headed. And there was no question in my mind, you shared that passion. I was thinking about it on the drive down here—we had so many dreams. When we married, they were compatible dreams. It never came down to your career or mine. I was excited about your acting, but that first year we were married, you only took jobs that were nearby. And I can’t even say that you leaving for work ruined everything. Traveling for work isn’t a weird state for most couples. In fact, I think it’s common.” He looked at her for a long moment. “But you didn’t come back.”

“I came back!”

“Months later you came back for a weekend. Within a year, nothing of yours was left in our apartment. We still had the paperwork that said we were married, but we didn’t have any of the investment. Laura, the longest we’ve been together in ten years was two weeks last year and that’s because you needed a rest after a grueling movie—and you stayed in my rental house next door. We just don’t have enough emotion to build a real marriage on.”

“I always felt I could come to you… You shouldn’t have let me go on thinking I could come back to you.”

“And I don’t know how you could have thought so. I’m sure you have friends you’re much closer to. I don’t even know your friends.”

“Is that important? Because I don’t know yours, either. I’m sure you have friends in that little town. I’m sure you’ve had women…”

He shook his head. “I haven’t. I haven’t been involved with anyone else.”

“Not even friends? No social life with women? Not even casual relationships that had potential if you weren’t married?”

“Laura, I haven’t thought of myself as married in a very long time. But I didn’t have any other relationships. If I had, I would have probably taken the next step and filed for divorce. I’m going to do that now. This is as unfair to you as it is to me. It’s good that you brought us to this crossroads. We either have to end it or try to breathe new life into it. I’m for ending it like two people who respect each other. If anyone can do it with class, you can.”

She just looked away and silently sipped her wine for a long moment. It was at least a full minute before she looked back at him. “I guess if you don’t love me anymore…”

“I have very tender feelings for you, Laura. We shared a special, magical time together that was over too soon. We’ve been friendly for years. Let’s not part on bad terms.”

“Yet, must we part at all? At least can’t we just go on as we are?” she asked.

“I realized something when you came to Virgin River this time. I realized I don’t want to be tied to a sinking ship anymore, and by that I don’t mean that you’re a sinking ship, it’s the marriage. Let’s let it go. We didn’t do the marriage very well. Let’s at least divorce well. So we can remain friends.”

“I guess I have no choice,” she said. “You’re obviously done with me.”

“Don’t do that, Laura. Don’t make it sound like the whole thing was my doing, that it had nothing to do with you. At least own your half of the failure of the marriage. That’s the least you can do.”

“It breaks my heart,” she said. “I have so many regrets.”

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