“Yes!” Kaylee said. “We should talk! Did you bring the tree?”
“It’s Christmastime,” she said. “You don’t have to bake a plum pudding or roast a goose, but the whole world is honoring Christmas. You remember what the spirit of Christmas does, don’t you, Kaylee? The least you can do is put out an ornament or two. It’s all right if it brings a little emotion to your day, but try to remember, it’s not all about you. And if you can’t bring yourself to celebrate Christmas, consider letting Christmas celebrate you. Think about the people you know who deserve some happiness. Have you done anything special for your boyfriend? He seems so loving and sweet.”
“He is,” she said. “Am I dreaming you?”
Meredith shrugged. “Are you cold?”
Kaylee looked around. There was snow on the porch and her feet were bare yet she was not at all cold. “Even if you’re only a dream, I’ll take it…”
“You’ve dreamed of me many times and usually it makes you happy. I know you feel cheated, Kaylee; I know you feel that you’re the only one who feels loss and sadness. And I know that you know that’s not true. I’m not suggesting you ignore your grief—grief is personal and runs on its own calendar. But remember. There are lots of people feeling lost and alone. It’s time for you to take stock of what you have, not of what you may have lost.”
“I can’t help it. I miss you so much.”
“I’m here. We may not get to talk too often, but you know where to find me. You know where I will live until we have each other again. Remember the spirit heals. Remember that the spirit of Christmas is about giving. Turn your heart to the needs of others—it will help you get through the days that seem too long and the nights that feel too lonely. You know what to do because you’ve done it before. And remember that I’m very proud of you. Of your strength and your resilience. I so love your abundant joy. If you need me, just whisper. I will hear you.”
“Please don’t go,” she said, tears gathering in her eyes.
“There are things you can do. Don’t forget all the things we talked about. There is an antidote to sadness—it is gratitude. There’s a great trick to escaping the pain of loss, and that is giving. You may still cry at 11:04 a.m. on Christmas Day. But then you should be grateful for all we had. We had so much. We were so rich, figuratively and literally. Accept the gifts that heal.”
“Stay!” she said. “Please! Just for a few more minutes!”
“I love you so much,” Meredith said.
“I love you more!” Kaylee said.
Suddenly she felt cold. Her feet were like ice, her hands were stiff and frozen. Even so, she didn’t move for a few minutes, willing her mother to come back. This was not like other dreams. This was so real.
“Kaylee?” Landry said, turning over and sitting up in bed. “What in God’s name…？”
She was in the bedroom, sitting on her heels in the bed, shivering and weeping. “She was here,” Kaylee whispered. “She was on the porch and she brought me a Christmas tree!”
Landry grabbed her hands and rubbed them. “Have you been outside? You’re freezing!”
She nodded. “She wanted to talk to me and while we talked I wasn’t cold. But then when she left I could hardly stand the cold. She was here. On the porch. I sat on the swing and we talked. I’ve dreamed of my mother a hundred times, but this time was different. This time it was so real. She reminded me of things we talked about. It wasn’t just her talking and me listening. We agreed on so many things. One of the things was that being kind was a sure cure for loneliness.”
He was rubbing her hands briskly. “Kaylee, how long have you been outside?” he asked.
“She brought me a tree,” she said. “It’s on the porch.”
He jumped out of bed. He wore only a T-shirt and boxers but he went to the porch and looked out. Then he closed the door and came back to the bed. “There’s no tree,” he said. “And there are no footprints. And there’s no impression in the snow from someone sitting on the swing.”
Her eyes grew round. “What?” she asked. Then she jumped up and ran to the front door. She looked out and saw for herself that there was no tree. And the snow hadn’t been disturbed on the swing or the porch rail. Then she started to cry in earnest.
Landry led her to the bed, got her under the covers and pulled her close, warming her with his body. “It’s all right, love. It was just a dream. Just a very nice dream.”