“What the hell kind of— You’re certain you’ve found enough evidence? What kind of vague nonsense is that? And why are you the one who gets to decide wh—”
“Watch your tone, Kishimoto,” Nouria says sharply. “Sam has been working nonstop trying to figure this situation out. You will recognize her authority here, where we’ve offered you refuge, and you will give her your gratitude and your respect.”
Sam places a calming hand on Nouria’s arm. “It’s all right,” Sam says, still looking at me. “He’s just overset.”
“We’re all overset,” Nouria says, narrowing her eyes at me. Anger gives her a sudden, ethereal glow that makes her dark skin seem almost bioluminescent. For a moment, I can’t look away.
I give my head a quick shake to clear it.
“I’m not trying to be disrespectful,” I say. “I just don’t understand why we’re buying into this. ‘Enough evidence’ doesn’t sound convincing, especially not when Anderson pulled this exact same shit before. Do you remember how that turned out? If it weren’t for J, who saved all our asses that day, we’d be dead. Ian would definitely be dead right now.”
“Yes,” Castle says patiently, “but you’re forgetting one important detail.”
I tilt my head at him.
“Anderson did indeed have our men. He never lied about that.”
I clench my jaw. My fists. My whole body turns to stone.
“Denial is the first stage of grief, bro.”
“Fuck off, Sanchez.”
“That is enough,” Castle says, standing up with sudden force. He looks livid, the table rattling under his splayed fingers. “What’s the matter with you, son? This isn’t like you—this angry, reckless, disrespectful behavior. Your harsh judgments are doing nothing to help the current situation.”
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Anger explodes in the blackness behind my eyelids, fireworks building and breaking me down.
My head is spinning.
My heart is spinning.
A bead of sweat travels down my back and I shiver, involuntarily.
“Fine,” I snap, opening my eyes. “I apologize for my disrespectful behavior. But I’m only going to ask this question one more time before I go and get her myself: Why the hell isn’t Juliette here right now?”
Their collective silence is the only answer I need.
“What is really going on?” I say angrily. “Why are you doing this? Why are you letting her sleep and rest and recover so much? What aren’t you telling m—”
“Kenji.” Castle sounds suddenly different. His eyes are pulled together, his forehead creased in concern. “Are you feeling all right?”
I blink. Take a sudden, steadying breath. “I’m fine,” I say, but for a second the words sound strange, like I got caught in an echo.
“Bro, you don’t look okay.”
Who said that?
Ian?
I turn toward his voice, but everything seems to warp as I move, sounds bending in half.
“Yeah, maybe you should get some sleep.”
Winston?
I turn again, and this time all the sounds speed up, fast-forwarding until they collide in real time. My ears start ringing. And then I look down, realizing too late that my hands are shaking. My teeth are shaking. Chattering. I’m freezing. “Why is it so cold in here?” I ask.
Brendan is suddenly standing next to me. “Let me take you back to your room,” he says. “Maybe y—”
“I’m fine,” I lie, lurching away from him. I can feel my heart racing too fast, the movement so quick it’s a blur, practically a vibration.
It freaks me out.
I need to calm down. I need to catch my breath. I need to sit—or lean against something—
Exhaustion hits me like a bullet between the eyes. Suddenly, ferociously, digging its claws into my chest and dragging me down. I stumble over to a chair, blinking slowly. My arms feel heavy. My heart rate begins to slow. I’m liquid.
My eyes fall closed.
Instantly, an image of James materializes in my mind: hungry, bruised, beaten. Alone and terrified.
Horror sends an electric shock to my heart, brings me back to life.
My eyes fly open.
“Listen.” My throat is dry. I swallow, hard. “Listen,” I say again, “if this is true, if James and Adam are really being held hostage by Anderson right now, then we have to go. We have to go right now. Right the hell now—”
“Kenji, we can’t,” Sam says. She’s standing in front of me, which surprises me. “We can’t do anything right now.” She’s pronouncing the words slowly. Carefully, like she’s talking to a child.