“I did let it happen. I made it happen. That situation in there started because of me. Your mother never would’ve been with him if I hadn’t left her, but I couldn’t get myself together enough to be the man she needed, so I walked away for both our sakes. That’s when she fell for him.”
“Well, that’s your fucking cross to bear. I’m not backing down, and I’m not walking away from her.”
“And it’s starting to tear her apart already!” He tosses his hands up. “I let your mother choose, and it was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done.”
“We aren’t you. We chose each other. She’s my wife!”
“And his daughter,” he emphasizes, “and as your father, I’m in my own hell right now.”
“Yeah, and what’s so fucking hard for you? You got Mom.”
“Yeah, but I lost pieces of her and years to him in the fucking process, years I’ll never get back. And you’re right, that’s my cross to bear, but yours is going to be too much for you to handle!” He runs a hand through his hair. “Easton, FUCK!” I notice the dark half-moons beneath his eyes as his jaw works back and forth. “I can’t believe you did this knowing full well the shitstorm it would cause.”
“Not to hurt you. It was never about you, Mom, or Nate. I married her because she’s the only woman who will ever fit me and because it’s too fucking painful to be away from her. Sorry, but that alone negated my need to know your whole history. Because it’s history, Dad. Those are your mistakes, and I’m not going to let them cost me my wif—”
“Say you have babies,” Dad interjects, argument ready, “and your mom comes face-to-face with the man she nearly married twenty-six years ago. Do you think we can honestly be comfortable or cordial enough to manage some sort of harmonious fucking relationship?” Dad’s chest bounces with incredulity. “Maybe for your sakes, we should. Maybe it’s the right thing to do, but it’s too much to ask of all of us. I’ve resented that man half my life because of the faraway look I sometimes catch in your mother’s eyes. And the worst part is, I don’t even fucking know if it’s him she’s thinking about, or it’s just my paranoia. Either way, I don’t ask. I can’t, and I won’t blame her if she is because it’s my fault for walking away.”
I stand, stunned by his confession. “Then why—”
“Because she loves me more, Easton, and always has. And thank God for that.” He shakes his head. “For a lot of other reasons too, but this isn’t so simple or cut and dried. You say it’s history, son, and it is, it was, but what you’ve both done is drag it all right back, front and center.” He takes a long drag, hotboxing his cigarette, his exhale clouding the air. “Here’s a history lesson,” he grits out. “Other than in passing and only vaguely aware of each other before everything went down, we’ve never crossed paths.”
Cigarette pinched between his fingers, he points toward the door. “That’s the first goddamned time Nate Butler and I have ever truly come face-to-face,” he seethes. “You’re responsible for that, and if you stay married to her, you’ll be forcing us all to the sidelines to avoid each other. Do you want that?”
“That will be your decision.”
“No, it was yours. Even your wife is aware of it.”
Panic seeps in for what’s happening behind the villa door. “Dad, I need back in there.”
“No. He deserves his time with her.”
“He’s ripping her apart!”
“He has a right to be furious.”
“Do you want me to fucking resent you? Because I will if you continue to try to tarnish the thing that matters most to me.”
“Yeah, fuck your family, right? I just held your mother’s hand and watched her check out, but that doesn’t matter.” Dad’s eyes redden as he stares at me like we’re strangers. “The whole time I watched her disappear inside herself, I told myself I can get past this with you, because you are what matters most in the fucking world to us both. But if you keep looking at me with zero remorse, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”
Every word strikes like a blow to the chest as reality sets in deep. No matter how much Natalie warned me of the blowback this would cause, she was all I could see. My willpower wavers slightly as I gaze at my father, who looks like he’s aging by the second.