Damon’s indignant shift in posture and matching glare has me pressing my lips together.
“Nightmare, and all the more reason to stay away. Besides, even if he felt something for me, which he clearly doesn’t…” she pauses thoughtfully. “I mean, I’ve always loved him, and I’ve been in love with him for more years than I haven’t, I think. But lately, I’ve been thinking it’s time to let that dream go.” She pauses again, pushing the top of her polish in the uncorked bottle to look up at me. “Nat, I don’t think he’s capable of being faithful. He hasn’t grown out of the fuckboy phase yet, and we’re getting older.”
I lift a brow as Damon’s expression shifts again. This time it’s anxiety.
“But you’re still in love with him?”
“Six months ago, yeah, now? I’m not sure anymore.”
I decipher his reaction to her words clear as day—panic.
“Can we please change the subject? I don’t want to go down this road if I’m going to be forced to watch him hook up with every bonita se?orita that looks his way for the next three days. I have to block that shit out.” She stands suddenly as Damon leaps back to conceal himself from view. “I’m going to get another margarita.” Holly glances around as my heart explodes into a panicked rhythm.
“Where is that man, anyway? Days are supposed to be ours, together.”
“It’s almost sunset, but I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.”
“Exactly, he’s probably already snuck in a nooner. Like how could I ever take him seriously? I’ll get him a drink, just in case. Be right back.”
She saunters off toward the bar as I whisper-yell, “Get your ass in here!”
Damon steps in and rakes a hand down his face, eyes cast down.
“Why the hell would you do that? We don’t shank each other and watch the other bleed out. You just forced me into the worst imaginable situation. If I don’t tell her, she’ll hate me.”
“Don’t tell her,” he implores. “I’m fucking begging you, Nat.”
“You asked for it,” I snap.
“I know.”
“Then look at me,” I command, “and be honest with me.”
He dips his chin, his eyes flitting with emotion as he lifts them. Damon doesn’t hide from me, ever. He’s one of the rare men who won’t, but I sense him trying now.
“She knows exactly who you are and everything about you. There’s always been something there between you, and it’s been there for years. She’s ready for something real, and if you aren’t, you don’t go anywhere near that. I’ve watched you two dance around your true feelings since you were teenagers, and I almost reconsidered inviting you on this trip because I’m starting to fear for her.”
“The fuck, Nat?”
“I love you, Damon, but you’re reckless,” I swallow as the hypocrite in me speaks up to save her friends from a similar fate. “And if you think you can quench your curiosity for her and come out unscathed, you’re so fucking wrong.”
“I know that. Why do you think I haven’t gone there?”
“Well, you better make up your mind and do it fast. But, Damon,” I warn, “if she means as much to you as I think she does, you have no idea how much it will hurt if you lose her.” My voice goes chalky, my warning full of venom. “You won’t recover, so you better damned well make sure she’s not the woman you see in your future.” I let out a heavy breath. “If you don’t…” I try to come up with better words because the wrong decision could tear the three of us apart.
“If I what?”
“If you don’t give her everything she deserves—all of it, not the bullshit fa?ade we both can see through, that you’ve used to fuck your way through half of Austin, then do not go there with her.”
“I need to think—”
“Then you aren’t ready,” I boil over. “You’ve had half your lifetime to decide, and we’re family, so you need to prepare yourself to regret it.” The image of Easton splashed all over the headlines, coffee in one hand, his new girlfriend in tow in the other, instantly comes to mind. The hand holding hers, the one that used to reach for mine. Agony sears through me as I speak my truth. “Because that pain is indescribable.”
“Natalie—”
“Damon, you have to love with your whole being and make sacrifices. If you can’t—Do. Not. Enter.”