Yet even as Death pulls out of me and I can feel the distance come between us, I know that something has changed. I don’t know what it means for me, or for him.
But the game we’re playing just got a little more real.
A little more life or death.
Chapter 19
The Garden
The sun is shining.
I can barely believe my eyes. Instead of Raila waking me up, there’s a shaft of shimmering sunlight on my face, coming in through the window.
I smile, my eyes closed, my sight glowing red behind my eyelids, and I’m trying to remember the name of the Sun Goddess. If she’s anything like Kuutar, she’s got to be beautiful. I’m picturing a woman of gold, a woman I didn’t realize I’d missed until she was gone. I’m such a California girl.
Then again, this time I’m pretty sure the sunshine is all my doing.
I wake up and look over, feeling only mild disappointment when I realize I’m alone. It’s not that I expected Death to stay the night with me, but after last night I thought there would be a little more intimacy between us.
Then my eyes fly open as I remember what happened.
The way that Surma tried to kill me.
The way that Death killed him.
The way he threw off his mask and kissed me so thoroughly I thought I might die from it.
Perhaps he didn’t stay the whole night, but he did let me see him for who he really is, no threatening facades. Just a deadly handsome God.
Don’t get carried away by a pretty face, I tell myself. The deadliest things are usually the most beautiful. He is no exception.
I sigh and get out of bed. I feel invigorated from last night, from being with Death, from freeing Bell, and yes, even from Surma’s death, as morbid as that sounds, and the sun feels like it’s charging my bones. I go to the wardrobe and pick out a simple dress then slip on my boots. I want to be outside for this, to soak up every ounce of sunlight. I have no idea how long it will last, because I have no idea how long I will last here. The thing between Death and I? It could go away in a second.
Of course, I’m still a prisoner at Shadow’s End, so going for a long stroll is out of the question. However, I have noticed the garden, a walled area of trees and plants and flowers between the two main buildings of the castle. I can probably go there without breaking any rules or bending any wards.
I head downstairs, passing the creepy Deadhands as I go. They stare at me and I wish I knew what they were thinking. Do they even have brains? Do they have lives? Are the same as the Deadmaidens in that they remember the people they once were? Do they miss those people, those lives? Is this what they thought death would be like?
But I don’t have the nerve to try and talk to them. They might serve Death, but the last skeleton dead guy I had a run-in with ended up with him getting killed. Death was right when he said there were those that couldn’t be trusted in this castle. I have to wonder who else there is pretending to serve him. Because if not him, who are they serving? The Old Gods? Louhi?
While I ponder that, I have to go through the kitchen to get to the garden, and I pass Pyry, the Deadmaiden cook in her black garb, already making breakfast.
She’s not alone. Harma in her red veil is with her and they seem like they’re whispering about something, stopping abruptly when they see me. If they’re speaking telepathically, it’s not like I’d hear them anyway.
I give them an awkward wave. “I’m just going to the garden,” I tell them. “Finally a sunny day, Pyry. Hopefully the plants will take advantage.”
I hope so too, dear Hanna, Pyry says with a bow of her head. They both stay silent, watching me pass with their faceless faces until I get the hint and leave the kitchen. I know Harma told me that she was an ally, but since she hasn’t said anything to me since, I wonder what that exactly is, and if Pyry is in the same boat as her. Could they be like Surma, patiently working for Death while plotting to overthrow him? Not that Surma outright said he was, but he definitely wasn’t on Death’s side.
I try to shrug it off. It’s nothing for me to worry about right now. I have other things to concentrate on, like trying to get enough vitamin D.
And no, that wasn’t a euphemism.
I step through the door and into the garden, blinking hard at the sunlight while I try to take it all in.
Holy hell, it’s like stepping into another world, one so different from the interior of the castle. The place is gorgeous, with rows of the biggest roses I’ve ever seen, the blooms the size of dinner plates, their colors lush and jewel-like, while bushes of blue and pink hydrangeas reach for the sun, and twisted vines of wisteria hang in the sky like purple fireworks. Butterflies dance in the air, their wings shimmering in shades of cerulean and marigold and amethyst, the sight magical.