I wink at her and hold my arms out wide. “Smart. Spray me.”
She offers me a few spritzes, and I spin around in the floral mist before heading to the bedroom, where Lara is standing in a black suit, hands behind her back, looking tired but ready. When she sees me, she smiles genuinely.
“Miss Campbell, you look beautiful,” she says, and I know even though she’s hurting right now, she’s being the support that I’m missing.
Runa picked out a beautiful lavender dress for me to wear today. An asymmetric design that hits just above my shins, with a ruffle top and sleeves. It’s very flattering but covers up everything that needs to be covered up.
Katla appears at the door, and her eyes well up when she takes me in. “My dear girl,” she says, walking in and holding her hands out to me. “You’re the spitting image of your mother.” She swipes at her tears.
“Are we decent?” Theo asks.
“Yes,” Katla answers, and he walks in with his cane.
When his eyes land on mine, he lets out a small exhale before clutching his chest. “My darling, look at you. You’re stunning.”
“Thank you,” I say as I take in his white suit with a yellow tie and Katla’s yellow dress. “You both look wonderful yourself.”
“Not as wonderful as you,” Katla says. “Runa, do you have the flower crown?”
“Right here, Your Majesty,” Runa says, pulling a fresh flower crown from a box I didn’t notice on the bed. Violets are secured in a circle with greens intertwining, with a lavender ribbon that breaks off at the back and flows a few feet. She takes it from Runa and lifts it over my head. I bend at the knee before her and let her adjust it over my hair. When she’s done, she lifts my chin and looks me in the eyes. “Violets, your mother’s favorite.”
My lip quivers as I gently touch the flowers. “This is . . . this is so special.”
“She is here with you, at this moment. Remember that,” Theo says, coming up to me and offering his arm.
“Th-thank you.” I turn to both of them. “Thank you so much for everything.”
Henrik appears at the door and says, “The carriage is ready.”
“Do you mind if I walk with Lara?” I ask Theo and Katla.
“Not at all,” Theo says as he grabs Katla’s hand, and together they lead the way.
Runa gives me a wink before I leave with Lara at my side. Keeping my voice quiet, I ask, “Have you heard from Keller?”
“Yes,” she says, her voice the same volume as mine.
I whip my head toward her. “You did? Is he coming?”
“He was just checking on security measures. He hasn’t said anything beyond that.”
“Really?” I ask, my heart falling. “He’s supposed to be here. I don’t understand.”
Lara walks closer and says, “I’m sure he’ll show up at the grand entrance. He’s probably just doing some last-minute checks.”
“Okay,” I say as we make our way down to the first floor, taking our time because Theo needs the slower pace. The whole time, even though I can feel my heart cracking with every step, I smile at the staff lined up along the walls, bowing and curtsying as we pass.
I remember what Runa told me, that they work hard for moments like this when they can be a contribution to history. And I want to make sure I make them feel just as special as they’re trying to make me feel, so I push my feelings to the back of my mind and try to focus on my steps. One foot in front of the other. And I try to focus on my breathing. In and out. And I control my lips that want to quiver with nausea. Steady and smiling.
When we reach the first floor, the kitchen staff are all waiting, watching, hands in front of them. I offer them a smile and a wave, and then we head to the grand entrance, where I steel myself, looking toward the door for Keller.
But when I don’t see him, my stomach flips as my nerves skyrocket.
He’s not here.
“Where is he?” I say to Lara as Theo and Katla walk to their carriage.
“I don’t know, Lilly, I’m so sorry.”
“Can you text him?”
“We don’t have time. You have to get into the carriage.”
Panicking now, I turn toward her and say, “I . . . I can’t do this. Not without him.” And I know I can’t. Keller taught me everything required for today, but I don’t think I’ll remember everything. What if I completely fuck this up? “I need him. What if I mess stuff up?”