“I had no idea, this is . . . this is special, Keller. This is what I was hoping for, this sort of connection with my mom. I wonder what else is a part of my childhood that comes from Torskethorpe that was just normal to me?” She glances around the kitchen. “She used to always make this carrot and beef stew.”
“With celery and fennel?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says, her eyes wide.
“Theo’s favorite soup. It’s not a tradition of Torskethorpe, but it’s very much a Strom tradition.”
“She always served it in brown crocks.”
I smile at her, then move to a cabinet by the stove and pull down a brown crock bowl. “Like this?”
Her hands go to her mouth as she walks up to me to get a better look. “Holy shit,” she says before taking it. “Keller, this is . . . this is exactly what she would use, and then she’d put those oyster—”
“Crackers over the top.”
More tears stream down her face, and I gather her in my arms again, letting her have this moment. After what seems like a few minutes, I lift her chin to look her in the eyes. “There’s so much more to come. Harrogate has rarely been used by Theo and Katla, but there will be so much more at Strombly, where your mother grew up. So many more memories, I’m sure.”
“When do we get to go there?” She wipes at her eyes.
“When Theo thinks the time is right. Things are complicated right now. He’s trying to protect you.”
“I understand.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean to get emotional on you. I just, wow, I wasn’t expecting to have a wave of memories hit me like that. I have very little from my childhood. After the estate sale to help pay off my parents’ debts, I’ve sort of forgotten about the material things that were part of my childhood.”
“No, it’s fine. We lost everything in the fire, so I know how you feel.” I give her another hug. “I’m here for you, Lilly.”
She smiles. “Thank you.” She takes a deep breath, claps her hands together, and says, “Now, let’s roll this dough out.” She turns back around and picks up the rolling pin. “I’d prefer if you lean over and help me.”
“Like this?” I ask as I move my arms around her body and grip the rolling pin with her, my chest to her back, my head next to hers.
“Yes, like that.” I can’t see her smile, but I can feel it.
I’ve tasted this woman in my arms. This temptress. Vixen. This spitfire. She’s pushed and prodded, determined to crack my self-control, and fuck did I want to make her come in the hot springs. And even though in this moment she has me exactly where she wants me, our confessions only moments ago have created a deeper, undeniable connection.
Despite Theo’s words, though, my blood being different does make me different. And I’d do well to not ignore that. I’d do well to keep her at arm’s length, but she’s slowly pushing forward, taking up too much space in my head.
“This was delicious,” Lara says from the kitchen. “I think the best I’ve ever had.”
“Hey,” Brimar shouts from where he’s doing dishes, causing us to laugh.
“Yours is good too,” she shouts and then quietly says, “The filling was so much smoother than his.”
Chuckling, Lilly pulls her legs up to her chest as we sit next to the fireplace on a blanket she laid out for both of us. “What did you think of the cardamom cake?” I ask her.
“It was perfect.” She stares off at the flames. Since her revelation in the kitchen, she’s been very subdued. There’s been no pestering, no teasing, no pressing her luck with me. She’s been quiet, actually, with not much to say. Even through dinner, when she’s normally joking around with all of us, she rather focused on her etiquette that she’s mastered quite quickly and then retired to the fireplace after eating the cake.
I’m slightly concerned.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask her.
She just nods as she stares into the flames.
“Are you sure? Because you seem . . . different.”
“Just thinking,” she says. And then a tear falls down her cheek that she quickly wipes away.
“Lilly . . .”
“It’s okay,” she says, wiping at her eye again. “I’m just . . . I’m sad, is all. I know we were supposed to play crazy cods, but I’m not in the mood, if that’s okay.”
“That’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”