Lilly: Long story short, I’m next in line for the crown here.
Timmy: WHAT? I mean, I knew you were royalty, but the next in line? So, if something happens to the king, you’re the next monarch?
Lilly: Correct, but they’re giving me the option, and I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.
Timmy: Which way are you leaning?
I look up from my phone and stare out at the quaint living room. The rich history that these walls must have experienced. The people who’ve walked in and out of the front entryway. The wood-carved doors that replicate the landscape of the country. The wooden bowls carved by Torskethorpians from the past. The embroidered table runners and doilies. The oil paintings on the walls. There’s so much about Torskethorpe that just feels right. That feels like home.
I turn back toward my phone.
Lilly: I think I’m leaning toward saying yes. And that seems so crazy because my life is in Miami, but since being here, I’ve felt closer to my mom. There’s so much of her here, I just . . . I feel like I don’t have that in Miami.
Timmy: Because you lost everything, even the house you grew up in.
Lilly: And you know I love you and our wagon, we worked so hard creating the brand around it, but I just feel like I could make an impact here, you know?
Timmy: You make an impact every day on South Beach, showing off wet nipples with your wet T-shirt contests. But if you’re speaking of more of a humanitarian impact, then, yes, you probably belong up there. LOL.
Lilly: I do kind of miss the wet nipples.
Timmy: They miss you, but you aren’t needed here. And I mean that in a loving way.
Lilly: I know you do. God, Timmy, do you think I’m crazy?
Timmy: No, I think this is admirable. You’re taking on a huge responsibility, putting others first over yourself. I’m proud of you.
Lilly: That means a lot to me.
Timmy: Now, tell me about Thor. How are things with him?
I smile and bring my knees closer to my chest as I text him back.
Lilly: Things are good . . .
Timmy: Umm, you’re going to need to elaborate. Is that ellipsis alluding to something naughty?
Lilly: It is. After a lot of push and pull, Keller finally kissed me last night, and it was everything I hoped for. God, Timmy, he’s so sexy, and not just in his looks, but in the way he grips me, how he talks to me, how he treats me like I’m the most precious thing to walk into his life. This might sound cliché, but he honestly treats me like a queen.
Timmy: I’m sweating. One look at him and he seemed like the kind of guy who holds his women up on a pedestal. Have you . . . done anything more than kissing?
Lilly: He dry-humped me last night.
Timmy: That’s hot.
Lilly: Well, technically it went from dry-humping to wet humping.
Timmy: Even hotter.
Lilly: And this morning, I made him come by just playing with his balls. And then . . . he humped me against the wall.
Timmy: Uh, excuse me? Tell me more about this ball thing.
Lilly: LOL. He told me to. I’ve never done that before, but it’s like he’s so in tune with his body that when I started touching him, he was ready to go, focused on what I was doing and only that.
Timmy: I’ve never orgasmed from ball play, but I’ve heard of it happening. Now I want to try it. What did you do?
Lilly: Oh my God! I’m not telling you how to fondle yourself. Also, I’m pretty sure your mouth can’t reach your junk.
Timmy: You fail to realize the many men I have at my disposal. I can be their teacher.
Lilly: Figure it out yourself! But I will say this, when he was about to come, he made me take his cock in his mouth and, Timmy, easily the biggest, nicest penis I’ve ever seen.
Timmy: Really?
Lilly: Yes. Just the sight of his penis gets me going. It’s long and has the perfect girth, with a perfect head. It’s just . . . it’s picture-worthy.
Timmy: The only great penis I’ve seen in a while is mine. You’re so lucky.
Lilly: You’re ridiculous.
Timmy: And he humped you against a wall, how was that?
Lilly: Carnal. Hot. Everything I needed.
Timmy: Goddamn you and your luck.
Lilly: Not sure I’d say my current line of succession is about luck.
Timmy: True. BUT, you’re a princess, you have a beautiful penis in your life, and you’re being treated like a queen. It seems as though things are going well. Aren’t you glad I convinced you to go?
Lilly: I was waiting for that . . . but, yes, I am. Being here, it feels as if I’ve found that missing piece in my life.
Timmy: I’m glad, but I need you to remember that when you’re waving to crowds and knighting people, I’m the one who convinced you to take a chance on something new.