“You need to eat,” I order softly, and she rubs her lips together before nodding and taking a seat on the log behind us. Sitting next to her, I dig into my bowl of stew, while she eats some broccoli cheddar soup that smelled delicious as I was heating it up. When we both finish, I take our bowls and dump them in the cooler on the back of the four-wheeler, then grab a plate of chicken and corn for myself and the single-size pizza loaded with roasted vegetables for her.
“I don’t know who your guys’ chef is, but I want to take them home with me,” she tells me after she finishes off half her pizza.
“That would be Blake’s mom, Janet.” I smile as she rubs her stomach. “When we started running guided trips, she told us that if we wanted to be successful, we needed to offer five-star meals for clients to enjoy at the end of each day. We thought she didn’t know what she was talking about, but we’ve had a lot of people come back just because of the food.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. The meals would be one of the reasons I would want to come back.”
“What are the other reasons?” I ask curiously.
“Honestly, everything. I didn’t think I would enjoy this trip, but it’s actually been fun trying new things and pushing myself. Plus, you’re not so bad to hang out with.”
“Good to know.” I chuckle, and she bounces her shoulder off mine. “Are you done eating?” I ask, eyeing what’s left of her pizza, and she laughs.
“You want my leftovers, don’t you?”
“I’ve always been a guy who enjoys meat, but every time you get your food, all I can think is I’m missing out.”
“You are. Vegetables are delicious.” She passes me her plate, and I take a large bite and groan in approval. “Told you so.”
“What made you become a vegetarian?” I ask, knowing she implied she didn’t always avoid eating meat as I take another bite.
Her eyes wander from mine, and she takes a deep breath. “My mom got cancer and wanted to do everything right, so she started eating a strict vegan diet. I wasn’t as disciplined as her, but I never loved meat, so I just stopped eating it. Which made it easier when she was cooking. I guess it just kind of stuck.”
“Is your mom okay now?” I ask softly, and she shakes her head.
“She passed away when I was fifteen. She fought for six years before she couldn’t fight anymore.”
“Jesus, Cybil.” I wrap my arms around her shoulders when I see her eyes start to water, and she burrows her face in my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” She sniffles and pulls away, wiping her cheeks. “I don’t know why I’m crying right now. I think I’m just really tired.”
I’m sure she is tired, but as she avoids looking at me, I wonder if she’s really dealt with the loss of her mom or if she’s tucked the pain away and built up walls around it to keep from facing what she went through. From experience, I know it seems easier to evade the past when it’s painful, but fuck if those doors you think are locked don’t have a way of opening up when you least expect.
“You should go try to sleep.”
“Yeah.” She stands and glances through me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, sunshine,” I say quietly, watching her say good night to everyone else before she heads for our tent. After I watch her disappear, I get up and take our plates to the back of the four-wheeler, then help Blake load up and send him on his way.
After making sure that camp is secure and the campfire is out, I lie in my sleeping bag and listen to Cybil breathe. Just as I’m beginning to drift off, she rolls in her sleeping bag toward me and presses into my side, just like she did last night. For a long moment, I don’t move, not even taking a breath.
I should wake her up. I know I should put distance between us, but just like last night, I wait until I know she won’t wake up, then curl around her. I fall asleep, enjoying every fucking second of having her close.
Chapter 8
CYBIL
“Cybil.”
When I hear my name, my eyes flutter open, and I frown when I see Tanner leaning over me, fully dressed and wearing a headlamp similar to the one I have.
“Is everything okay?” I look around, noticing it’s still mostly dark, the beige tent letting through just a glimmer of early-morning light.
“Yeah, I have something to show you. Get dressed and meet me outside.”