“You can’t do that,” I mumbled, too tired to argue.
“We can and we will.” Arsène pushed me back down on the bed. “And you better fucking reciprocate when it’s our turn to fuck up.”
The next day, Arsène got caught buying weed he had no intention of smoking from one of the seniors, while Riggs brought an actual mountain lion he’d somehow managed to get a leash on and declared his new pet. Both my best friends got three weeks of kitchen and laundry duty.
After that day, Riggs and Arsène made sure I would never do a kitchen shift all by myself again.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ARYA
Present
I decided to attend the trial during the days and catch up on my work during the evenings. It wasn’t ideal. Then again, nothing about my situation was.
Christian Miller wasn’t wrong. The evidence didn’t leave room for much doubt. Each line of defense Louie and Terrance tried was answered with even more evidence from Christian and his clients. Louie and Terrance couldn’t even deny the harassment. When it was time to present their case, they simply suggested all advances were fully consensual. One of the accusers was twenty-three, for crying out loud. Younger than me, and a devout Catholic. The idea of her flinging herself at my father was delusional. And all of them had been fired by him after refusing his sexual advances.
Still, I came to court every day. Maybe to punish myself, but more likely to punish Dad. I knew how much it killed him that I witnessed all this.
I didn’t do a whole lot of sleeping these days. I mostly cried myself to exhaustion, my mind running through all the memories of Dad’s interactions with his female employees in my head, like a broken record.
Then I’d wake up and drag myself to court again and again and again.
After each day in court, Christian would hand me a printed reservation he’d made for one of the most talked-about restaurants in town. Be it Benjamin Steakhouse, Luthun, Pylos, or Barnea Bistro.
“I’ll wait there for an hour tonight. We’ll have a private room, or at least a booth where no one can see us.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’d be all your pleasure to get caught,” I’d answer.
“Not at all. If we get caught, we both lose.”
He never pushed, never begged, and never expressed any disappointment or anger over my absence the next day, even though I knew he was sitting by himself at restaurants every day.
Each day I ignored his invitation, my resolve would crack a little wider. A tad deeper. I would watch him in action in court, my gut filled with anger and longing, and exasperation, too, because for the first time in my life, I couldn’t tell if someone was an ally or an enemy.
Most of all, I observed Christian with fear, because I suspected he’d figured out that I wasn’t coming to court for Dad anymore.
I was coming to court for him.
One night, I was fast asleep in my bedroom, clad in a simple sweatshirt I’d stolen from Jillian some years ago in college. I was pooped from a day of attending court and working （I’d pretty much managed to get back on top of work, but it was killing me to be present in two things that took over my life）。 I’d drifted into sweet slumber when I felt a shadow hovering above my body, and when I looked up, Christian was there, standing at the foot of my bed, still in his sharp suit.
He smelled like the rain and pencil shavings, and I was tired of pushing him away. So tired, in fact, I didn’t even ask him how he’d gotten in.
“What are you doing here?” I asked instead. My voice lacked that furious fight I used every time we were bickering.
But Christian didn’t answer. He took a seat on the edge of my bed, grabbed my ankle, and perched my foot in his lap to give me a foot massage.
I groaned, throwing my head back and letting him work his magic. I was appalled with my inability to push him away.
His hands hiked up to the back of my knees, working restlessly, kneading and squeezing the soft, sore spots in my body.
“This will mean nothing,” I mumbled, closing my eyes. Because I knew where it was heading, and so did he.
A low chuckle emerged from his throat. “I’ll cancel our wedding invitations.”
“But not the cake. Send the cake to my office. I’ve been craving sugar all week.”
His hands went higher up, to my inner thighs, and he tugged me down so he could touch more of me, until his fingers were right there, between my thighs, in the holy triangle no man had touched in such a long time. I let out a shaky sigh when his hand pushed past the side of my panties. He dipped two fingers in, finding me soaking wet.