Danny nods his understanding as if he’s not surprised, as if he isn’t shocked. Danny seems to take everything in his sandaled stride. I appreciate his reaction.
He considers his words carefully, his palm cupping the chill of his glass. ‘Although I have to say moving your girlfriend in on the day of your wife’s funeral is a bit out there, even for someone like me.’ Miriam clucks her tongue. Danny presses on. ‘You’ll make it up. It’s just family life. He’s obviously a great guy, I’m sure there’s a good explanation.’
We eat dinner, chat some more and enjoy the lights coming on over the river. But it’s getting late. I’m glad we’ve done this. Glad it’s gone so well. I want to do it again and soon. But that’s not the main reason I’m here.
When Miriam disappears into the kitchen with the empty plates I see my chance. ‘Danny, can I ask you about my mother?’
He nods with a gentle, reassuring smile. ‘You’ve been very patient. I’m not sure I would’ve been in your shoes.’ Smile fading, he settles his gaze on the river. ‘I’ll share the story, Eva. But I want you to remember that if there’s any blame attached, it’s down to me and not your mother.’
My heart thunders and lurches, acid bile rises in my throat. I know what he’s going to tell me. She’s dead. Two mothers gone. How can life be that cruel?
‘I had just split from Miriam’s mother.’ He shakes his head. ‘My wife wasn’t the easiest woman in the world. There I was, a guy in his thirties, having to move out of the family home and leave my ten-year-old daughter behind. I felt like a failure.’
The hurt from the past lives in the tight expression on his face, the sudden gruffness of his voice. I wish I could rub his pain away.
Danny continues. ‘To cheer me up an old university friend of mine, who lived in Brighton, invited me to a party he was having. I didn’t know anyone there and, truth be told, I wasn’t having a very good time. Drowned my sorrows in way too much drink.’
The blue of his eyes suddenly sparkles. ‘Then I was introduced to your mother. She said her name was Tish.’
Tish. Tish. Tish. Mentally I clutch her name to me in the same way I hold on to the Good Knight.
‘She was amazing. I felt like I’d always known her. You know those women who seem to have some kind of life-affirming aura about them?’ Danny’s voice is hushed as if my blood mother is walking on the river in front of him. ‘Fed up with the party and the noise we left and went for a walk along the seafront.’
Danny finally turns to me. I gasp at the brightness of his eyes. ‘We walked for miles until we reached a lonely stretch of beach. She grabbed my hand and we . . .’ His shoulders lift meaningfully. ‘Afterwards, we lay there staring at the stars, talking about everything and nothing. One minute I closed my eyes, the next I opened them and she was gone. I’d been asleep for hours.
‘I asked everyone about Tish, but no one knew her, had never even heard of her. To me, this meant that Tish probably wasn’t her name. My friend only knew her by sight. I got a little angry about it. It seemed impossible that a woman like that should appear out of nowhere and disappear into nothing.’
I suddenly feel swindled. What has been a surprisingly relaxed and enjoyable evening has turned as dark and chilly as the night air.
Danny breaks the silence. ‘Six months later, I ran into my friend. He told me he’d seen Tish on the street, and she was obviously pregnant. He tried to get her attention, but she didn’t see him.’ Danny sighs, but he isn’t finished. ‘I’ll be honest with you, Eva; for a long time I told myself that the baby might not be mine. That she might have already been in a relationship. My mother died ten years ago. It got me thinking about my responsibilities. What if Tish’s baby was mine? That there might be another child of mine out there in the world.’ There’s a hitch in his voice. ‘The best thing I ever did was to put my DNA out there.’
Swindled and cheated.
‘I’ve got to go.’ Unsteadily I stand. Tears stab the back of my eyes.
The hurt I feel is painted on Danny’s face. ‘You feel disappointed. It’s my fault.’ He leans across the table. ‘I’m a wealthy man with powerful connections and a lot of resources, I promise we’ll find your mother together. Bring me everything you have, and I’ll help.’
After a fierce hug with Miriam, Danny walks me to the front door where he advises, ‘Don’t tell Sugar you’re looking for your mother and don’t tell him about me either. The last thing you want is to completely wreck your relationship with this brilliant man. Mend those fences with him first. And when you’re both back on a sure footing you can tell him about your search for your mother and me.’