A muscle ticks in Ronnie’s jaw, but she tells me. ‘In a notorious drug house. Miriam was as high as a kite when I found her. She didn’t want to come with me, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer.’ Ronnie stops, her gaze softening. ‘She couldn’t stop crying and calling your name.’
And with that Ronnie quietly lets me through into the flat. I swallow back my shock at the sight of Miriam slumped on the sofa. She looks thinner somehow, and her tangled hair hides the jut of her cheekbones. The blue of her fringe is no longer electric but bland. There’s no mascara to hide her eyes, or their big, bloodshot, haunted expression. A bandage partially covers her left hand.
I feel something cracking inside me. I hate to see Miriam in pain. I still don’t understand why that is. We haven’t known each for long, so why do I hurt when she hurts?
Then I see what she’s holding. In one hand she has my Good Knight and in the other the knight’s missing lady. The Good Knight didn’t burn in the fire after all. Happiness floods me. But why does my sister have it? Miriam slots the two broken pieces together. A perfect fit.
CHAPTER 43
Hope
I’m going to die! I’m going to die!
The baby’s coming. The chain around my ankle stops me from leaving this room. I’ve been chained here like an animal since I came back. Danny’s imprisoned me here, cut me off from the world. I know what’s going to happen to me. They’re going to kill me, but I won’t let that happen to my precious child. That’s why I bury my screams in the rolled-up towel between my teeth. If Danny hears me I’m dead. The baby’s dead. Merciful heaven, I know where he will take us and what he will let them do. We’ll end up like the others. My poor child, dead just as she is born.
I left and looked what happened. Those who should’ve helped me didn’t. Tears of anguish stream down my cheeks.
Oh God, here comes another roaring pain. Gripping the bedcover, my body arches, my mouth twists in a mind-shattering silent scream. The baby’s been coming since this morning.
How could I have loved that bastard? How did I miss what he really was?
My palm gently rests on the tight drum of my belly. Danny did give me this beautiful child. The most beautiful thing in my life. He touched my tummy recently as if he was feeling the baby’s worth. After that I wouldn’t let him anywhere near my body.
Another pain rips through me. Merciful Lord above help me! My eyes sink back in my head. I feel the change in my body down there. Freezing sweat drips down my skin.
The key in the door rattles. No! No! No! Not him! Please! Not Danny!
The chain won’t let me get away. An electric volt of pain fires up inside me, making me dizzy, my head convulsing with pain. I collapse back on the bed, moaning, head moving from side to side. I feel defeated. He’s won.
The door creaks and creaks open. I close my eyes against the sight of him. How did I let this happen to me? To my baby? I hear the footsteps coming across the room, getting closer and closer to me. A hand touches my arm. I jump. Open my eyes.
I slump back on the bed with such relief. It’s my friend, the little girl. The poor kid’s face drains of blood at the shocking sight of me giving birth. What a horror this must be for her, the child who still believes that babies are delivered with the milk.
‘Help me!’ My icy hand touches hers. ‘My baby is coming.’
Her eyes grow so big they look like they’re going to fall out of her head. I don’t blame her, but I have no one else to help me.
‘I’ll get someone,’ she answers.
My fingers dig into her arm. ‘No! You will have to help me.’
Her face grows even paler when she spots the chain around my ankle. ‘What’s that?’
I don’t want her to panic her, I need her on my side. ‘I’m playing a game with someone. All I need you to do is help me.’
She shakes her head. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
I had been preparing for the baby for some time, stocking up on towels and a cutlery knife.
Somehow I find the strength to be calm, even with fiery pain in my abdomen. ‘I want you to go to the kitchen. Wait until you are on your own. Then get a basin under the sink and fill it with boiling water. Be careful with the water. You mustn’t burn yourself.’
She’s such a bright little spark, back within fifteen minutes. In that time, I feel my baby’s head pressing to leave my womb.
Between us we bring my baby into the world.
Look at her. My daughter. My slice of heaven. I don’t have words. I hold her to my breast, sobbing. She is the most beautiful jewel on this earth. God, let her grow up to look like me, to be like me. I cling to her knowing I only have a limited time with her. The chain means I can’t leave here, but she can.