“Huh.” He doesn’t look pleased, and I arch a brow. “Only a ten?” He nips at my earlobe, and I squirm. “I’ll have to try harder next time.”
I shake my head, fighting a smile. “Spoken like a true overachiever,” I tease. “It’s a ten, and the date isn’t even finished. I’m pretty sure you’ll struggle to top this.”
“Ha!” He barks out a laugh. “Challenge accepted, milady.”
I laugh, rolling my eyes again. “You’re such a dork.”
“As long as I’m your dork,” he says, and the moment turns heavier.
I smile, but I don’t reply. I don’t want to force labels on whatever this is. I just want to exist in this moment with him. He must agree because he lets it drop, and I face the front again, snuggling into his arms as I look out at the stunning view.
Dillon dots kisses in my hair, against my temple, my cheeks, and my neck, as we sit in silence, watching the gentle motion of the waves far below us, listening to the sound of excited children running around someplace behind us, and it’s sheer heaven. I could sit here like this with him for eternity.
The sun lowers in the sky, and a faint gray hue replaces the previous bright blue canvas. Swirls of cool air waft over us, and I shiver. “Time to go,” he whispers, planting an openmouthed kiss against my neck.
“Do we have to?” I grumble.
I can almost see his smile as he presses a kiss to my cheek. “Let’s grab some fish and chips and eat it on the beach,” he suggests, pulling us to an upright position.
“I think you’ve just elevated this date from a ten to a twenty.” I circle my arms around his waist, grinning up at him.
“Hell yeah!” He fist pumps the air. “That’s what I’m talking about!”
45
“Hey, are you okay?” Ash sticks her head through the door of my bedroom the following morning. Concerned eyes meet my bloodshot ones. “I heard you crying.”
“No,” I admit, sobbing openly.
She strides across the room, bundling me into her arms. “If my dickhead brother has caused this, I’m going to fucking castrate him,” she seethes.
I know how much Ash loves Dillon, so the fact she’s willing to instantly go into battle for me means more than I can say. Ash was out last night when I got home, so we haven’t had a chance to speak about my date. “It’s not Dillon’s fault. It couldn’t have been a better date, and he couldn’t have been more of a gentleman.”
“Ah.” She hugs me close, smoothing a hand along my back. “You’re feeling confused and guilty.”
I nod even though it’s more than that.
“The first time I slept with someone after Cillian, I physically threw up. Then I crawled into my bed and cried for three days straight.” She stares off into space while stroking my hair. “No one understood. They assumed I was over him because it’d been six months since things ended. They didn’t understand that grief and heartache don’t work to a specific timeline or understand how I could seem to be over him one day and be disconsolate the next.”
I’ve suffered those whiplash mood swings too. The type that makes me feel like I’m an emotional headcase and I’m going insane. “Yes,” I sniff, shucking out of her arms and sitting back against the headboard. “Yes to all that, but it’s also the bittersweet feeling that I’m moving on, and why do I feel so fucking guilty? I was the one who was betrayed. Reeve and I have been broken up for almost four months, so why am I wracked with guilt? Why does it feel like I’ve cheated on him?”
“Because you meant forever when you promised him that.” She sits beside me, tucking her petite legs into her chest. “If there’s one thing I remember from that time, it’s don’t try to find logic or make sense of everything you feel. You feel it for a reason. You’re justified in feeling it, and it’s all part of the bigger picture. It’s all part of healing.”
“I really hope you’re right because I’m done feeling like my emotions are playing ping-pong with my head and my heart.”
She turns to face me. “You had a good time with Dillon though, right?” Expectation lights up her pretty face.
A genuine smile crests over my lips. “I had the best time. It was awesome. Dillon was awesome.” I fill her in quickly on where we went and what we did, including the fact we kissed.
“Yes!” she exclaims, making a funny gesture with her arm. “Ro owes me twenty.”