Tingles cascade over my skin, reaching every part of me, and I’m arching toward him, clinging to him, with a need that is unflinching and indisputable. His fingers weave through my hair as his tongue slips into my mouth, and I’m drowning in Reeve, consumed with his touch, taste, and the feel of being back in his arms. I’m kissing him back without restraint or regret, drowning in the familiarity of being with him like this. It’s as easy as breathing. As if we’ve spent no time apart. As if we haven’t been to hell and back these past few years.
I don’t stop him either when he removes my clothes and his own, lying me down flat on the couch, kissing and touching me everywhere, helping to remind me that what we share is a love that will never die. His lips blaze a trail from my mouth to my neck, and he sucks on that sensitive spot just under my ear. Blissful tremors shake me to my foundation, and there is no thinking, just feeling, as I immerse myself in the pleasurable sensations Reeve is awakening in me. My hands roam his body, reacquainting me with every inch of his skin.
When his mouth closes over one nipple, I arch my back, almost falling off the couch as I feel a pull deep in my core. My body reacts instantly to Reeve’s touch as if my skin has memorized the sensory response when he caresses me in certain places. He worships every part of me with his lips and his fingers as I slide a hand between us, grabbing his hard length and pumping him in my hand. He moans into my mouth, whispering my name over and over as he molds my body to fit to his.
His fingers slip inside me, finding me ready and willing, and there’s no hesitation. Lifting my hands up over my head, Reeve presses his body down on mine, linking our fingers as he claims my mouth in a passionate kiss. “I love you, Viv. Over everything and everyone. The only thing that matters to me is you. You have my heart for now and eternity.” My thighs open for him, and our eyes remain connected as he inches inside me with tender care. “God, Viv.” Tears prick his eyes, and I dust kisses all over his face.
“Let me feel your love, Reeve. Show me you mean everything you’ve said today.”
He kisses me senseless while he moves his cock in and out of me. My legs wrap around his back, and my hands roam his spine and his firm ass, holding him close as he pivots his hips, thrusting deeper inside me, until it feels like he’s buried so deep he’s a part of me. We kiss and kiss, both of us as greedy as the other, and I moan as his fingers fondle my breasts and sweep along my sides, eliciting a rake of fiery shivers every place he touches.
Lost to the incredible intimacy of being with Reeve like this, I feel a sense of inner calm, inner peace, that can only come when two people know each other as well as we do. Reeve is my home, as I am his. So much of who I am is entwined in Reeve, and he reminds me of the parts I haven’t visited in months, connecting me to elements of myself I had locked away along with memories of us.
As he thrusts inside me, making slow passionate love to me, I realize what this means. I’m irrevocably in love with Reeve, and our connection is still very much alive. I don’t know what this means for our future, but I know I need him back in my life, in some guise, because I miss him. I miss this.
We come together, and it breaks me apart and heals me at the same time. As we descend from our high, we curl against one another, skin to skin, with my head buried in his shoulder. My fingers trace over the heart-shaped tattoo on his chest with my name inside. I still can’t believe he got this for me because he’s always been adamant he didn’t want any ink. Thinking of ink naturally leads me to thoughts of Dillon. Reality hits, and I’m crying before I realize it.
My heart and soul forever belong to two men.
It’s an irrefutable truth that won’t ever change.
Reeve is the air I breathe.
Dillon is the fire that consumes me.
How am I expected to live without a part of my heart?
I don’t know what this means for my future or where I go from here, but I can’t deny the truth any longer—I’m deeply in love with two men, and I’m a hot mess because I have no clue what to do.
Reeve kisses every tear, giving assurances, whispering how much he loves me, promising me it is going to be all right. I sob into his shoulder, clutching him to me, hating myself for what I’ve just done, because it feels like such a betrayal so soon after leaving Dillon, while another part of me desperately clings to the man I have loved my entire life, never wanting to be separated from him again.
My emotions veer back and forth, going round and round, until I literally make myself ill from trying to work out the complex machinations of my heart. Nausea swims up my throat, and I race to the bathroom, vomiting the entire contents of my stomach.