A knot forms in my throat, but I swallow past it.
“I was letting loose.”
“Having drinks with friends is letting loose.”
His eyes narrow and I sigh, pushing up into a sitting position. “If you’re looking for an apology, I can’t give you one.”
“I’m just trying to understand.”
A wounded, humorless laugh leaves me and I look to the sky. “Don’t pretend you don’t know,” I whisper. “And don’t pretend you weren’t as curious as I was, even if you didn’t want it, I know you thought about it.”
“What does that mean?”
My head jerks his way and I frown. “You might have pulled away, but not before you held me tighter.”
“I was shocked!” he whisper-yells. “That was the last thing I expected you to do.”
“Yeah?” I pop a brow. “Was it the shock that made you hard?”
“Whoa!” His hands fly up, and again, he cuts his gaze around us. “That was the liquor and the mood and—”
“And me.” I shake my head. “Maybe you didn’t want anything to happen, but you can’t deny that. I know we were drunk, trust me, I didn’t need the reminder. I probably would have been too chicken to do it sober, but I’m not sorry I did. I’d do it again.”
“Don’t,” rushes from his lips with his next breath so quickly that he himself didn’t realize it was coming out until it did.
We both tense.
Chase drops his eyes to the sand once more, slowly bringing them up to me. “Don’t,” he whispers, so low it’s almost missed. “That can’t happen again. I love you, Ari, you know that, but this isn’t… we can’t.”
“Can’t as in shouldn’t?” I swallow, forcing my gaze not to drop from his when I want to cower away. “Or can’t as in you don’t want to?”
Chase exhales harshly, a tragic smile pulling at the edge of his lips. “Both, Ari.”
I scoot over, putting more space between us, and he reaches for me, but I tug back.
“I’m sorry.” His shoulders fall in defeat.
I inhale, returning my eyes to his.
I want to be angry. To yell and scream, but I won’t allow my disappointment to cloud the truth, because I know better.
Chase isn’t saying this to be cruel. He isn’t malicious or manipulative.
He’s just… my brother’s best friend.
We stare at each other a moment, and then his lips twitch.
“What?”
“I’m just a little surprised you had it in you.” He grins.
An embarrassed chuckle slips from my lips, and I bury my face in my palms, but he reaches out, pulling them away.
I laugh again, but Chase, he doesn’t, and slowly, the humor on his face begins to fade.
I swallow. “Chase—”
“Heads up!”
Before I can react, I’m hit in the head by something, the impact of the foreign object knocking me over slightly.
“Shit!” Chase’s arms lift, freezing midair. “Ari! Are you okay?”
I rub at my head, spotting a football lying near my feet.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It didn’t hurt, it—” My words lodge in my throat as my skin prickles, the weight of a warm hand falling onto my bare back just below my bikini strap.
I peek over my shoulder, and my breath hitches as I lock eyes with a stranger.
A blue-eyed stranger.
A blue so deep, like a tropical stormy ocean’s night.
No, that’s not right.
They’re more like midnight. Like when the moon is at its brightest in the sky, casting a shadow over the dark sea.
Or is it metallic blue, like a rainbow fish?
I can’t say for sure.
I look to his hair, a deep, dark shade of brown; it’s as if he just stepped out of the water, and maybe he did. I don’t know. It does have that slightly styled, messy thing going on. I wonder if it’s soft.
It looks soft.
And those lips. I—
Wait.
What the hell am I doing?
I don’t even know the guy.
But seriously, though, who has such perfectly shaped lips like this? And the way they move when he speaks is like the perfect sync of a symphony— Hold up. His lips are moving.
He’s talking to me. And now he’s… grinning?
It’s a really good grin, too, kind of crooked and cute.
Oh, my god, he’s totally laughing at me. My eyes fly up, finding humor and inquisition swimming in his gaze.
“I—” I swallow. “What?”