Sitting there alone with her, I plead, beg, and pray for something to happen, for anything.
Turning her hand over, I drop my head to the bed, cradling my cheek against her soft palm, and I stay like that, my mind a mess of memories.
I’m not sure how much time has passed when a hand falls on my shoulder, and I look up to find Cameron standing beside me.
“Why don’t you go home for a little bit?” Her smile is soft.
I sit up, clearing my throat as I look around the room, the boys in their usual spots.
Shaking my head and running my hands down my face, I tell her, “I’m good.”
“Noah, you haven’t left the hospital.” Mason sits up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He lifts a single brow. “You shower here, sleep here, eat here… when you eat at all.”
“I eat when I’m hungry.”
He nods, glancing toward Chase when he stands, his eyes following his friend as he comes to me with a cup of coffee.
“It’s not steaming anymore, and it tastes like shit, but it’s warm enough.” Chase holds it out. “Looks like you could use it.”
This is his peace offering, as was the uneaten pizza last night and the breakfast sandwich the day before. I didn’t want any of that and I don’t want this, but it’s got nothing to do with who’s giving it to me. My stomach won’t accept anything. No matter what I try to force down, it comes back up.
I’m in knots from my mind to my fucking feet.
He probably thinks I want to bash his face in and that’s fine. Sometimes that’s exactly what I want to do, to punch him square in the jaw.
Him and every other thing in reach.
He just keeps standing there, so I accept the drink in his hand.
“Thanks.” I take a small sip, trailing him as he moves back to the seat by the window.
“Where’s Lancaster?” I ask Mason, just realizing the tripods missing a leg.
“Should be on his way by now. He had an early training session.”
I nod. “Good, that’s good. He needs to keep his routine. Coach said there’s an offer out for a center they’re hoping to snatch up for next year.”
“I heard about that.” Chase sits up. “Some high school senior from Detroit. He’s supposed to be a beast.”
“He is. I watched his film.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Mason shrugs. “Brady’s stats this year were fucking wild and he’s only getting better. No one can read the line like him.”
“Yeah, he’s quick with adjustments. With you leading, you guys should go far next season.” The moment the words leave my mouth, I wish I could take them back, knowing I left this one wide open, and all we’ve have is time to pass, so they’ll keep the conversation going.
The second I look down, Mason speaks up.
“So you ready for the draft, my man?” Mason asks with a hint of excitement, the first I’ve heard from him in weeks. “That shit must feel surreal, being so fucking close after years of hard work?”
There it is, the exact topic I don’t want to discuss, especially with promising hopefuls I spent the last six months leading.
“That’s months away still.”
I don’t look up; Mason’s delayed response tells me he’s growing curious.
“Yeah, but you’ve got a lot of work leading to it. Shit, the Senior Bowl is just a few weeks away now. You probably fly out—”
“I’m not going.”
From her place on the ground, Cameron spins, facing me, but I don’t look up.
I run my fingers over Ari’s, brushing along the smooth lilac nail polish Cam painted on for her.
“You mean you’re not going too early to get familiar… just waiting until game day?”
“I told Coach Rogan to give my spot to someone else. I’m not going.” I turn Ari’s hand over, gliding my fingertips along her inner palm the way the nurse suggested. “Pulled out of Pro Day, too.”
“Oh my god,” Cameron mumbles, Mason’s voice nearly cutting her off.
“Wait a fucking minute,” he snaps.
I look up.
Mason glares, Cameron stares wide-eyed, and Chase frowns at the floor.
“You did what now?” Mason tips his head.
“Don’t.” I speak as sternly as I can manage. “I already got shit from every coach on payroll, and the rest of the staff, for that matter, including the trainers. It’s done. End of story.”
“Noah, man.” Mason furiously shakes his head. “Don’t do this. You worked your ass off for Avix and earned this shit. Not to mention all your years of high school and youth ball. Don’t let that go. You’ll regret it.”