“I don’t want to lose you. It might not feel like it right now, but you mean a lot to me, Ari…”
“Yeah,” I breathe, while in the back of my mind, it whispers, just not enough.
Later that night, as I cross the road to climb into my dad’s truck, headlights catch my attention from a block down, blinding me. I lift my hand to shield my eyes, to try and see better, but then the light flicks off, and there’s nothing but darkness once again.
I climb into the back seat, close my eyes, and hope like hell when we get to Avix, it will be like nothing ever happened.
Chapter 11
Arianna
* * *
“Where you at, girl!”
Holding back a sigh, I let my pen fall from my fingers and use the moment’s interruption to stretch. I don’t bother answering Cam’s obnoxious ass, knowing she’ll pop her head in my room any second, which she does.
“Hey!” She face-plants onto my bed, quickly rolling onto her stomach to face me, her grin far too telling.
Unease wraps around my shoulders, but I’ve gotten decent at hiding it, so much so she doesn’t seem to notice anymore.
Cam wiggles her brows. “We’re going out.”
I force a chuckle, picking up my pen once more. “I can’t tonight. I have to study.”
She grabs my pillow, growling into it dramatically.
“Ari, come on. We’re three weeks into the semester, and you still haven’t come out with me. I get you want to stay on top of your classes, but, shit, we were supposed to be living it up together, and you keep ditching me, making me look like the hooch caboose.”
I raise a brow.
“You know?” She speaks with exasperation. “The ass at the end of the train. It’s me and three guys everywhere we go, that shit sucks! I need another vagina with me to even it out a bit.”
A small grin pulls at my lips, and I shake my head. “You’re an idiot.”
“You love me.”
“I’m not going.”
“Please.”
“Cameron, I can’t. I have a lot of homework.” Not exactly a lie, but she knows it’s more than that.
She’s quiet for a minute, sighing as she pushes herself up. She walks to my dresser, running her fingers along the photos lining the top of the cheap, carbon fiberwood, and picks up the one of the boys holding the two of us. Still in their uniforms and fresh off their big win in the championship game, we’re lying across their hands, our faces smiling into the camera.
I’ve almost stuffed that one in the drawer so many times, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“First regular season game’s this weekend, you know.”
“Yeah.” I swallow past the burn in my throat, avoiding her gaze. Of course, I know.
I wrote it on my wall calendar months ago, knowing it was coming with me, even circled it with blue and gold sharpies.
Cam blindly sets the photo down, gently reminding me of what I already know. “You’ll break Mason’s heart if you don’t go.”
The day I left the beach house, Cam left with me, and while I knew she suspected something had happened, I waited until the drive to campus a full week later to lay it all out for her. I told her everything, and like I knew she would, she got angry, and a little while later, she cried.
I didn’t want to keep it from her, but I also didn’t want my own inner issues driving a second wedge in our little group. It took a half gallon of mint chip ice cream and a six pack of beer to get her to drop the Chase aimed pitchfork and understand the situation for what it was: a night of overflowing emotion that drove us past the point of no return.
No one was at fault, and no one did anything wrong. It simply was what it was, and then it was over.
We got to Avix two weeks before school began, and during that time, she was attached to my hip in all her best friend glory. We slowly unpacked and decorated what would be our home for the next year, went on walks and got to know the area.
We went to the movies and hung out with some girls from the first floor of our dorm. Had lunch dates and coffee breaks. She kept me busy with any and everything she could think of, and for the most part, it worked, but as soon as I was alone in my room again, the ache would creep back in. She knew that which is why we didn’t spend a single day indoors from move in day to the night before classes officially began.
That was also the first night the boys were allowed even a minute of free time.
They asked us to come over, see their place and meet their friends.
Cam was so excited, but I was the exact opposite. Dread fell over me and I felt trapped.