Then, despite the fact that her cheeks were still hot with anger, she cried. Then damned herself for crying.
Paul had a hard time sleeping through the night. He’d made a half-assed and totally unrehearsed attempt to explain things to Vanni and, in his bungling, left it undone, maybe worse. Of course, having the general right down the hall, maybe ready to walk into the room right at the moment Paul announced, “She’s pregnant!” didn’t help. But that was no excuse.
He had to get this done, and the very thought curdled his stomach.
If he was going to be a father he would be an involved father. He was more than committed to taking on little Matt and he hoped…no, he prayed, Vanni could accept his child as part of the package. But he had no idea how to go about telling her. Vanni scared him to death. She had a helluva temper.
It was just after dawn and the household was quiet. Paul dressed, made a pot of coffee and took a cup with him down to the stable, thinking of having a little morning chat with the horses. Maybe he could get some advice about the embarrassing fact that he was thirty-six years old and was still trying to figure out how to get close to a woman he’d been in love with for years. Not to mention the fact that he had this little complication of another woman having his baby.
He was leaning against a stall when he heard a sound. He turned around and saw that the tack room door was ajar. His first thought was that the general might be up, so he pushed open the door. There, seated on the bench, elbows on his knees and head down, was Tom. His jacket was tossed over the bench beside him and his shirtsleeves were rolled up. “Hey,” Paul said.
Tom lifted his head. His expression was troubled. “Hey,” he said.
“You been out all night?” Paul asked.
“I was out late, yeah. Then at Brenda’s. I got home a couple of hours ago.”
“Have fun?”
Tom shuddered. It was unmistakable. “Yeah,” he said in a breath. “Yeah.”
“What’s the matter, bud?” Paul asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “Just thinking.”
“Yeah? Maybe if you think a little louder, I can help.”
Tom studied him for a long moment. “I sincerely doubt it, Paul.”
“Try me. I’m older. Maybe I’ve been down this road.”
“If you have and you’re still single at thirty-six, I really don’t want your advice,” he said glumly.
“Whoa,” Paul said. “What the hell’s this? Thinking about marriage at eighteen?”
“Nah. Not quite that. It’s just that… Brenda, man. Jesus, I love that girl. I didn’t think I could love a person this much.”
“Doesn’t sound exactly like a bad thing so far. Unless she doesn’t feel the same way…”
“Whew,” Tom said. His cheeks got a little pink and he shook his head. “She feels the same way. Whew.”
“So. You crossed that line, did you?”
“Whew,” he said again. He stood up, turned around and ran sweaty palms down his pants. When he turned back to Paul he said. “It should come with a warning, you know?”
Paul put a foot up on the bench and forced himself to take a leisurely sip of his steaming coffee, trying to get mentally ready for just anything. He hoped to God he and Tommy didn’t share the same problem. “Oh, yeah?”
“Can I talk about this? Does it make me a real jerk to talk about this? Because I was always taught men don’t talk about the women they… My dad always said a real man never talks about private things that happen with his girl.”
“It won’t go any further. We’re a long way from the locker room, Tom. I think I can be trusted.”
“It’s just that… Well, damn. She took her sweet time, you know? And I was real patient, even when I thought I was going out of my mind. But I just wouldn’t have felt right if she wasn’t sure. We had all the ground rules in place—double protection, we did a lot of talking first, were totally sure how we felt about each other. I promised I would be totally faithful to her, only her, unless she changed her mind, but I’m not changing mine. And she said the same thing to me. We love each other, Paul.”
“Yeah?”
“I figured it would take a little time, you know. Getting used to. I figured it would go real slow, maybe be a little clumsy. At first.”
“Yeah?” Paul asked, wondering what the hell this kid was getting at.
He ducked his head, then made eye contact. “It wasn’t.”