“Jesus,” Walt said under his breath. “He’s not married, is he?”
“Of course not. He wouldn’t keep something like that from us.”
“Engaged?”
“He says there’s enough of an entanglement there to make his position difficult. That’s why he wasn’t around after Mattie was born.”
Walt drove in silence for a while and Vanni resumed gazing out the window. After a few moments of silence Walt asked, “What about you, Vanni? I know you care about him.”
“Dad, Matt’s only been gone a few months. Should I even have such feelings? Should I be completely embarrassed? I’ll miss him forever, but I—”
“Please don’t do that to yourself, honey,” he said. “Haven’t we learned by now? Life is too short to suffer needlessly.”
“Will people say I—”
“I don’t give a good goddamn what people say,” he growled. “Everyone is entitled to a little happiness, wherever that is. And I think for you, it’s with Paul.”
She sighed and said, “I’m asking myself why I thought I had some claim on him. He was very good to us all, I’m so grateful—but why didn’t I realize that a man like Paul wouldn’t have any trouble attracting the attention—the love—of a woman? I’ve been so angry with him for not telling me, but… Why didn’t I ask?”
“Now what, Vanni? Is he trying to make a choice, is that it?”
“We were having a discussion, not a very pleasant one, right when the call came from Shelby. It left his intentions up in the air a bit. But there’s one thing I won’t do, I can’t do—I can’t ask Paul to choose me over a woman he has an obligation to. I tried to make it very clear, his duty to me as his best friend’s widow has expired. He doesn’t have to take care of me anymore.”
“I have a feeling it’s more than duty,” Walt said. “I have a feeling it always has been…”
“He has to do the right thing,” she said. “I’m not getting in the way of that. A man like Paul—he could regret the wrong decision for the rest of his life. And frankly, I don’t want to be the one left to live with his regret.”
“Oh, boy. You two have some talking to do.”
“No. Paul has business to take care of. I have nothing more to say about this.”
Paul arrived in Virgin River about midafternoon on Saturday. He left his duffel in the truck, allowing for the possibility he wasn’t welcome at the Booths’。 He hadn’t talked to Vanni since the Sunday before—she’d been busy with the family in Bodega Bay. Besides, the conversation they needed to have wasn’t for the telephone. But the way things had ended between them caused him to hit a wall. He couldn’t let her get away again, or he’d never be the same. She could push him back, be angry about his screwup, but he was going to keep coming at her until he had her attention. She was going to have to tell him, convincingly, that she didn’t love him, and didn’t want him in her life. That was the only way he’d let go. And he was done tiptoeing around the issue.
He was greatly relieved to note the doctor’s car was not parked outside the general’s house. Tom opened the door for him. “Is Vanni here?”
“She just went for a ride. She’ll be back in about an hour. Two at the outside.”
“Mind if I wait around?” Paul asked.
“Of course not,” Tom said. “You look all stirred up.”
“I just need to talk to her, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I know. Good luck with that. She hasn’t been in a real talkative mood. Coffee?”
“Thanks,” Paul said. “I’ll get it.”
So, they knew, he thought. No surprise there—she was all worked up and angry when they parted a week ago. And she was close to her brother and father; she wouldn’t hesitate to talk with them about her problems. Their problems.
As he moved toward the kitchen, he saw the general out on the deck leaning on the railing, looking out at his view. The other thing Paul dreaded was facing Walt before he faced Vanni. But he wasn’t going to blow it this time; he’d lay it out there and face it like a man. Then he was going to beg Vanni to forgive him. It could take time, but he’d gladly wait her out.
He took his coffee out to the deck and, as he stepped onto the planks, Walt turned.
“You did show up here. I predicted you would.”
“Well, I’m fearless, sir,” he said. Then he swallowed nervously.