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Small Pleasures(6)

Author:Clare Chambers

Mrs. Tilbury came back in carrying a tray on which were two delicate china cups, milk jug, sugar bowl and a teapot wearing a crocheted cozy. As she poured the tea her hand shook a little, jangling the spout against the edge of the cup. Nervous, perhaps, thought Jean. Or just butterfingered with the best china.

Now that she had a proper look at her, Jean could see that Mrs. Tilbury was one of those women blessed by nature. She had a clear creamy complexion, a tiny straight nose and slanting blue eyes, which gave her face an un-English kind of beauty. She wore a round-collared top tucked into a fitted skirt.

Jean found herself caught between admiration and envy. She would have liked to wear that style of nipped-in waist herself, but she had no waist to nip. Even as a young girl she had been solidly built. Not fat exactly—portions had never been generous enough for that—but with a straight up-and-down figure, much more like a grandfather clock than an hourglass.

“You’re not English?” Jean tried not to make this sound like an accusation.

“No. I’m Swiss. From the German-speaking part, actually. But I’ve lived here since I was nine.”

They smiled at each other across their teacups and a silence descended while Jean deliberated whether to make more general conversation about Mrs. Tilbury’s background or to cut straight to the matter at issue.

“We were all very interested in your letter,” she said at last. “You didn’t give much away but it was most intriguing.”

“I expect you have a lot of questions. You can ask me anything. I don’t mind.”

“Well, perhaps you could start by telling me about the birth of your daughter.”

Mrs. Tilbury clasped her hands in her lap and fiddled with her wedding ring. “Perhaps first of all I should say that although I was a very innocent girl growing up, I did know where babies came from. My mother was quite strict—she was a very religious woman—and of course there were no boyfriends or anything of that sort; but I was not kept in ignorance. So when I went to the doctor, not long before my nineteenth birthday, feeling tired and my breasts aching, I couldn’t believe it when he said I was going to have a baby. Because I knew it wasn’t possible—I had never even so much as kissed a man.”

“It must have been a terrible shock.”

“Yes, it was,” said Mrs. Tilbury. “But I really thought, it can’t be right. They’ll realize they’ve made a mistake soon.”

“Presumably you explained all this to the doctor who had examined you?”

“Yes, of course. He said the manner of conception wasn’t his concern and my surprise did not alter the fact that I was most definitely expecting a baby.”

“In other words, he didn’t believe you.”

“I suppose not. He said he had met many girls in my condition who were equally confounded to learn that they were pregnant. But they soon came round to the idea when they realized that their denials would make no difference to the outcome, and he hoped I would, too.”

“What a horrible man,” said Jean with more force than she had intended. “I despise doctors.”

If Mrs. Tilbury was taken aback, she was too polite to show it.

“But of course he was quite right. And he looked after me very well in the end,” she conceded.

“So, when it became clear to you that there was no mistake, how did you account for it to yourself? I mean, what do you think happened? Did you think it was a visitation from the Holy Spirit—or some kind of medical phenomenon that science can’t explain? Or what?”

Mrs. Tilbury spread her hands out in a gesture of helplessness. “I don’t know. I’m not a scientist. I’m not religious like my mother. I only know what didn’t happen.”

“And how did your parents react to the news? Presumably you had to tell them.”

“My father was dead by this time, so there was just my mother.”

“And she believed you?”

“Of course.”

“Not all mothers would be so amenable.” Jean thought of her own mother and had to subdue a sudden surge of hatred.

“But she knew I couldn’t have had relations with any man. You see, at the time of the supposed conception I was in a private clinic being treated for severe rheumatoid arthritis. I was bedridden for four months, in a ward with three other young women.”

“Oh.”

Jean was unable to hide her surprise at this revelation. It seemed to provide an unexpected level of corroboration to Mrs. Tilbury’s account. Her claim had suddenly become much harder to dismiss and to Jean’s surprise, she was glad. For reasons that were not just to do with journalistic hunger for a good story, she wanted it to be true.

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