Hint—there isn’t.
And the compliment I get is nice color?
That makes me feel . . . sad.
Growing up, I didn’t have the highest self-esteem when it came to my body, because I was always compared to Lottie, the goddess with curves. I’ve tried hard to make myself feel beautiful, and it’s been a journey. And my insecurities coupled with my inability to be in a relationship have taken their toll on me.
Tonight, with JP’s comment and now Edwin’s . . . my insecurities are tickling the back of my mind, telling me I’m not good enough.
Chapter Six
JP
“Did you hear what I said?” Genesis asks, tugging on my arm.
“Hmm? What’s that? Sorry.” I clear my throat. “It’s loud in here.”
“It is,” she softly says. “But I can’t help think that you’ve been distracted all night.”
Because I have been.
I’ve been distracted by glimpses of a yellow dress sweeping through the crowd. A yellow dress that I can’t seem to get out of my head ever since I first caught sight of it this evening. A form-fitting creation that wraps around her waist but drapes down to her ankles, and the delicate straps that hold up her mouth-watering tits, and that slit . . . fuck. I’d lied. Kelsey had looked—looks—stunning in her dress. Why on earth I said otherwise . . . well, my fucking stupid defense mechanism.
Don’t say you like someone, because then you’ll never get hurt. Fucking idiotic.
But, yeah, I haven’t been paying attention to Genesis because someone else has completely captivated me. And I hate that.
Fuck do I hate that she has control over my head tonight.
After the “ground rules” she set, I chalked up any chances of becoming close with Kelsey to absolutely zero. And sure, did I assist in that zero percent chance? Of course I did, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t. I use instigation as a defense technique, to guard myself. Kelsey is no exception.
She’s the first girl I’ve had more-than-one-night interest in. From the moment I met her in the conference room with Lottie, when they were pitching their organizing services, I felt the need to get closer to her. To find out who this strong-willed, intelligent, woman is, what makes her tick, what brings her joy . . . who brings her joy.
And I’ve tried everything you could think of to break down her walls.
I’ve attempted friendship, which was a complete shitshow.
I’ve tried flirting. I was knocked down a peg or two rather quickly.
I tried sarcasm, wit, and well . . . that didn’t go over well either.
On the date, I reverted to my last resort, poking her with annoyance. I think we all know how that ended up—a follow-up the next day with ground rules on how to stay the hell away from her. Instruction received.
I’m not one to push against the tide, I know when I’m simply wasting my time, so when I met Genesis at a meeting at Mecca Tech and we got on well, I didn’t hesitate to give dating a shot. She’s smart and beautiful, and we seem compatible.
When Kelsey’s working at Cane Enterprises, I’ve behaved professionally, kept my eyes down unless asked a direct question, my heart guarded, and avoided inhaling Kelsey’s flirty perfume.
It’s worked.
All of it.
Until she walked down those stairs tonight.
Until her hand landed in mine when she exited the van.
Until I helped her into the back entrance of the estate and caught a rare glimpse of her vulnerability, something she keeps very well hidden.
Now, I’m a desperate, needy asshole all over again.
“Sorry, Genesis,” I say softly. “Work events are always stressful. Even though it’s supposed to be a fun night out, I still have eyes on me at any given time.” Very true—I’m always stiffer at work events.
Cane Enterprises is always under scrutiny because of how powerful we’ve become. Our competitors would like nothing more than to see us crumble and fall.
“I can totally understand that. The pressure of being one of few female vice presidents in the tech world is intense. Feels the same way, everyone is waiting for me to make a mistake.”
“Sorry for interrupting,” a waiter says, coming to stand before us. “But they’re calling everyone to their assigned seats as dinner is about to begin.”
“Of course.” I nod at the man and then offer my arm to Genesis. She takes it and together we walk into the ballroom of the estate.
The room is bustling with Beverly Hills elites dressed in their finest. From Tom Ford suits to obscure designer gowns, the glitter and the glam of the evening almost overshadow the cause, the reason why we’re here. Typical for most events in this part of town. You pay a fee to attend, and then the rest of the night, business is conducted, gossip is spread, and deals are made with a discreet handshake.