But knowing how much you grew to hate my riddles and seeing as how I’m probably standing right behind you as you read this, I also hope you don’t turn around and wallop me for making you do it. This old dog loves his familiar tricks, and I can’t tell you how proud I am that we did this together.
I think this is the first time I’ve left you a note you didn’t have to decode. Ha! Even I don’t want to spend that much time translating something. Besides, if you’ve found this, you’ve earned the right to an easy read. （And even if I could say all this in person, you know I’m not very good at it.）
Do you remember when you were little, I used to call you Grasshopper? You would hop from spot to spot in the front yard, swearing that you had to land on a stick or you’d melt into the lava. Back then you liked the treasure hunting, too. You were my little sidekick.
I think you stopped liking all that stuff when your mom left. I get it. Maybe it would have happened anyway as you got older, but I imagine her leaving had a lot to do with why you started hating what I love. You always loved horses, but once upon a time you loved hiking and treasure hunting, too. I wanted you to get back into it, but I get why you didn’t. It took your mom away from us, and it took me away from you, too. I couldn’t ever resist it, though, and I know you have something you love just as much, so I hope someday you’ll understand.
I found most of this money about a month after your mom left. You were at the ranch with your uncle Dan. I didn’t have a plan. I wandered in places I’d never been before. I even got lost once or twice. I made my way into that final cave, and there it was, all this cash, all these old coins, packed up in about fifteen dusty wooden crates. Honest to God. The first time in my life I went out into the desert without a thirst for treasure was when I found the one thing I’d been searching for my whole life.
It took me a few weeks to get it all out of there, and then I didn’t know what to do with it. Part of me thought, “This is when Lily and I start a new life of our own choosing,” but even by then, I think we would have chosen different things. I would have wanted to keep searching the land for something to surprise me. You would have wanted to stay put with your horses.
But then that got me thinking, too, “Has she ever had a choice? Is this what she would choose if she’d seen the world beyond this border?”
I hope all of this makes you understand why I sold the ranch. That place never made me feel anything but trapped. I know you love it there, but I don’t want to feel tied to that land anymore, and I don’t want you to simply fall into your fate. That’s my decision and I stand by it. I want to tell you something important, and maybe if we’ve made it through this crazy hunt together and you’re still reading, there’s a chance you’ll hear it.
You’re barely an adult. Don’t tie yourself down to a place or a person yet. Don’t let your world be small until you’ve seen more of it.
I know you love that ranch. But it will mean something different when you get out in the real world and choose it. That’s what I’m giving you. With this money, I want you to travel. There are horses all over the world, Lil. Go ride ’em. I want you to explore, and branch out, and be brave. If, at the end of a year, you still want the ranch, then buy your own land and make a name for yourself that way.
I see how you might just return to Laramie and be there forever, and never understand why I couldn’t do it, why I couldn’t stick it out in one place. Maybe after you travel, you’ll get the travel bug, too, and you’ll want to make that part of your life the way I have. Or, maybe you’ll hate it, but then at least you’ll know how your heart is built and you can tell me to shove it with real wisdom. At least you’ll have choices in front of you, which is the only thing I want for you.
Most of all, I just don’t want you to end up with a life half-lived.
So. Open this safety-deposit box.
And live.
—Duke
“I tell you what.” Walt covertly wiped his eyes before passing the paper back to Leo. “That hunt would have been a lot easier if Duke had been there.”
“He wouldn’t have helped, are you kidding?” Lily reached for her champagne, washing her laugh down with a sip of bubbles. “And I can’t even imagine how homicidal the ASCII code would have made me at the end. It would have taken me weeks, and then to decode a note telling me to look at home? Homicidal. Thank God for Leo.”
“But only you would have figured out where the key is,” Leo reminded her. “Only you had the right pattern—LILI.”