‘I don’t know.’
His smile vanished.
‘She went out three Sundays ago and never came back.’
‘And you haven’t heard from her?’
‘No, I haven’t.’
‘Well, that’s unusual.’
He sat down on the stool and remained quiet, pulling at his beard. He seemed anxious, agitated even.
‘I thought she was busy,’ he said. ‘I didn’t realise. So there’s a chance I might never see her again?’
He looked up at me, waiting for an answer that I couldn’t give. There was something childlike about him, as if this question had been living inside him forever, and it had finally emerged from his soul.
‘She’s such a good person,’ he said. ‘Bad things always happen to good people.’
‘We don’t know that anything bad has happened.’
‘Sorry, don’t mind me.’ He stood up, as if waking from a sort of stupor. ‘I tend to think the worst – always have. I am sure she is just fine. At the end of the day there will be a reasonable explanation.’
His words followed me like a shadow as I walked home. I kept my eyes on the road so that I wouldn’t have to look at Nisha’s flyers.
When I got home, the house was empty and hollow. I collapsed onto my bed. I imagined I was inside a seashell. The past echoed in its chamber, a far-away sea, long ago, my father’s voice clear and warm above blue waves: Look at that, Petra, look at that jellyfish, look how luminous it is, look how beautiful! No, don’t reach out to touch it, baby. It will hurt you. Sometimes the most beautiful things can hurt us.
And Stephanos, his laughter. That’s what I could hear – Stephanos laughing about a cake I had baked that was as flat as a Frisbee. We spread jam on it, we ate, we made love. Then Nisha, crying in her room night after night when she first arrived. Me, stopping outside her bedroom door and listening. ‘Can you hear that baby crying?’ Nisha had said one night, leaning out of the window. ‘I can hear a baby crying, as if it is crying for me.’
And Aliki.
Mum.
The word had disappeared. She had swallowed it up inside her. She knew, didn’t she? She knew that I was far away, from the day she was born. I heard it now, that single beautiful word; I heard it inside the hollow shell over the sounds of the sea and my father’s voice and Stephano’s laughter and Nisha’s tears.
I saw it like a jellyfish floating away in the water, and I wanted to reach out and touch it.
Mum.
And that’s when I understood Nisha’s tears. That’s when I finally knew about her pain.
Mum.
*
I woke up to Aliki patting me on the cheek.
‘Mum, Mum, Mum, are you awake? What are you doing home?’
‘Oh, stop now, shush, girl. Do not wake your mother.’ Mrs Hadjikyriacou appeared in the doorway, motioning for Aliki to come out of the room.
‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘I’m awake.’
I thanked Mrs Hadjikyriacou, letting her get back to Ruba, and suggested to Aliki that we cook together.
‘How about we make moussaka?’
Aliki’s eyes lit up and she nodded. This was her favourite Greek dish too, and she had always loved helping Nisha fry the aubergines and make the béchamel sauce.
*
I was in bed and just about to drift off, when my phone rang. I looked at the clock and my heart dropped. It was eleven o’clock. No one called with good news this late.
‘Is that Petra?’ a male voice said on the other end.
‘Speaking.’
A short silence followed before he said, ‘Petra, this is Tony from the Blue Tiger.’
I sat up in bed. ‘Yes, Tony, hello.’
‘I’m wondering if you might be able to come and see me. I have some information, but this is not a matter I can discuss over the phone. I would prefer to see you face to face.’
I ran a hand through my hair, the better to wake myself up. ‘I’ll come tomorrow,’ I said. ‘I might bring someone with me this time, if that’s OK with you?’
‘As long as you’re certain this person is trustworthy.’
‘He is. Don’t worry about that.’
*
The following morning, I took Aliki to school, and once again called Keti and asked her to cancel my appointments for the day. Back at home, I went straight up the iron stair-case and knocked. It took a while for Yiannis to come to the door. He was unshaven and dishevelled. His stubble had a hint of silver.
‘Did I wake you up?’