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Sorrowland(51)

Author:Rivers Solomon

“And your name?”

“Susannah,” she said.

“And your children?”

“Callum and Bruno,” said Mam, and Howling knew he wasn’t supposed to tell these blue-suited people that was a lie. These strangers, they were like bears. Stand still, stay quiet, back away ever so slowly, slower than a snail creeping along your arm, and most important, don’t interrupt Mam in the middle of her negotiations. Mam thought Howling never listened, but he did.

One of the blues knelt in front of Howling. “Are you all right, son?” he asked.

Howling looked up at Mam, and she smiled down at him. A fake smile. A tense smile. Yes, these blues were bears.

“I’m all right,” Howling said quietly.

“Were you running away from something? Is that why you went up there?”

“I just felt like climbing,” said Howling. “I like to climb, and it looked fun to climb, and I wanted to see the city. I never been to this place.”

“We live in the country. He’s used to having lots of trees to climb,” said Mam. “I tried to call for him, but you know children, just running off and pretending not to be able to hear. They both just got away from me.”

The blue didn’t look at Mam, just kept his eyes steady on Howling. “How old are you, son?”

Howling held up his fingers.

“Four?”

Howling nodded and looked up at his mam, who was still smiling her tight smile.

“Lady, this can’t happen again,” said the blue, standing back up to talk to Mam.

“Of course not,” she said. “And it won’t. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what’s gotten into them.”

“That right there was extraordinarily dangerous, and letting your children into that situation is tantamount to neglect, you hear? You do what you have to do, simple as that, and if that means getting a leash, get a leash.”

“Of course. I’ll do that right away,” said Mam. Howling didn’t like the sound of whatever that was.

“I was joking about the leash,” the blue said.

Mam laughed. “Me, too.” But Howling knew she hadn’t been. She was going along with whatever he said.

When the blue-suits left, Mam grabbed Howling’s hand and Feral’s, tight, and tugged.

“I’m sorry, Mam,” said Feral, but Howling wouldn’t say it. Never.

“Don’t do it again,” said Mam, “unless you want to be taken away from me forever and ever.”

Maybe Howling did want to be taken away forever. Howling had only climbed. Nothing wrong with that. She had no right to be angry at him for that.

He waited for her to reprimand him, to ask for his apology, too, but she didn’t, and that set him right off. He gritted his teeth together and scrunched his face into a fist. He should be given the chance to say sorry. She shouldn’t assume he wasn’t going to apologize.

Howling wrestled his hand from Mam’s grip but stayed by her side. She needed to know he wasn’t happy.

* * *

MAM DRAGGED HOWLING AND FERAL in circles through a maze of ugly. His feet felt strange. The ground was too, too hard, too, too flat. It made him dizzy.

“How many miles we been wandering?” asked Howling.

“Shh,” said Mam. “I don’t want to hear nothing from you right now.” Then she sighed quietly. Mam gave away so much in her breaths—she was about to apologize. Well, Howling wouldn’t accept. “I’m sorry for being so grumpy,” she said. “Five miles, I’d guess? Bus station is apparently on the edge of town. A ways to go still. But don’t tell me you’re tired. You’ve walked three times that in a day, easy.” But walking in the woods was nothing like walking on this hard, flat stone spread out everywhere.

To pass the time, he gathered sticks and stones, squirreling them under his arms and in his pocket, picking long grasses when he saw them that he’d weave into twine and make into something good when he had a chance, scavenging interesting objects discarded on the street, until they stopped at a gas station. That was a place where people put special juice into the metal beasts, like the beasts needed water to drink, but it didn’t smell like water. Liquid gas, Mam had said. Diarrhea. Howling giggled.

“What?” asked Feral.

“Poop,” Howling said, and his sibling laughed.

“Poop, poop, poop,” said Feral.

Mam, Howling, and Feral waited near the side of the gas station’s mini-mart, Mam watching the comings and goings at the station while Howling and Feral played with rocks, skipping them along the concrete. They bounced so nice. It felt good to be still. Howling wrapped himself up in the quiet of the moment. The noise of the passing people faded into a filmy haze he could turn away from.

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