“I think I’ll pass on dinner tonight. I’m pretty tired. Also sore,” Vern said.
Gogo shut her laptop and scooted it onto the side table next to a precarious stack of books. “I thought you’d said the pains had mostly settled.”
They were nothing like they had been before, but her insides were still in flux, still adjusting. “Just a little here and there,” said Vern. “It’s not like I was keeping it a secret from you.”
Gogo gestured with her head for Vern to come to the bed. Vern hesitated a moment, but took a seat at the edge.
“Where’s the pain?” asked Gogo.
This was the Gogo Vern had met that first night at the cabin. Self-assured that she could save the day, exuding perfect confidence. Vern hoped she wasn’t playing up the pain too much as a way of manipulating Gogo, of drawing her closer.
“I’m okay. Really. Just growing pains.”
“Where’s the pain?” Gogo repeated. Her voice had a hardness that made Vern shiver.
“My back, mostly. But honestly it’s everywhere.”
“Turn around,” said Gogo.
Vern flicked a questioning glance toward Gogo. “What for?”
Gogo gave her a look.
“Fine,” said Vern, sighing out her resignation. She turned so that her back was to Gogo.
“Can I?” asked Gogo. Her voice was steady with its characteristic edge, but some of the confidence had left it.
“Can you what?”
Gogo was silent, and Vern knew that she was tugging nervously on her braid. When she was ready to speak, she’d throw it back over her shoulder.
“I could rub on the sore parts. It might help with the pain,” said Gogo, “but I won’t do it if you don’t want me to.”
Vern let the warmth of the offer flood her, and she smiled. “I don’t mind.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You should lie down,” Gogo said.
It was a narrow bed, but Vern did as Gogo suggested, moving about awkwardly till she lay on her side, Gogo to the back of her.
Gogo took off her gloves, then rolled her hands over Vern’s neck. Her fingers sank in gently at first, then with great, puncturing force. It hurt soothingly, and Vern relaxed beneath the attention. Gogo moved on to the leathery exoskeleton over the sides of Vern’s back.
“That okay?”
Vern tensed at the gentle touch. “Just go slow,” she told Gogo.
Gogo pressed harder, and Vern let out a stuttered breath, her whole body turning slack. Vern folded into Gogo’s touch. Gogo’s hands were a mix of gentle and persistent, with soft, teasing strokes between Vern’s ribs, then harder around her neck and shoulders, which were covered in exoskeleton but not as tough.
“You can touch the hard parts,” said Vern. “But you don’t have to, if you think it’s strange,” she said.
“I don’t,” said Gogo.
Gogo ran a finger down Vern’s spine, where the exoskeleton was most robust. There was a little give, but not much. Gogo’s touch buzzed electrically. It burrowed from the surface deep into Vern’s chest, her belly, below her belly.
“Can you feel it?” asked Gogo.
“Yes.”
“What’s it feel like?”
“Good,” said Vern, though that was surely understating it. “Tingly, I guess?” she added, feeling the need to explain the sensations.
For several moments there was only silence as Gogo stroked. Vern bit her lip to stifle her syncopated breaths. She’d become sick with longing in the space of a minute.
“I like feeling you tremble,” said Gogo.
Vern licked her lips, about to respond, but what was there to say? That she liked it when Gogo made her tremble? Shouldn’t that be obvious?
“Is this too much? What I’m doing now? Do you want me to stop?” asked Gogo.
“Please don’t,” said Vern.
“Do you want me to do more?”
Vern hated Gogo for making her admit her desires out loud. “Yes.”
“I want that, too.” Gogo pressed her lips against the base of Vern’s neck, where the carapace was most tender. Vern swallowed loudly, and she bit the crochet blanket on top of Gogo’s bed to quiet herself.
Gogo’s lips were like the prickle of an exposed wire. She started at Vern’s neck and worked downward, touching the coarse, hard bits of the exoskeleton and all. Shivering, Vern buried her head into a pillow and squeezed her thighs together.
“Don’t hide from me,” said Gogo. Gently, she grabbed a section of Vern’s hair and tugged.