She rolled her eyes in mock disbelief and shook her head. “Oh, I suppose that’s in the grand plan. As you remember, Hermie has the world under his thumb and is the supreme ruler. Since we have no place else to go, it’s a given that we’ll move into the big house and play by his rules.”
“Hermie?”
“That’s what I call him, behind his back, of course. Helen won’t do it. She’s still the perfect one and coos ‘Papa’ at him.”
There was a long pause as Mack savored the nickname “Hermie” and wished he’d had the guts to have been more disrespectful to his ex-father-in-law.
“I asked you about Helen,” he said.
“Oh, she’s okay. She’s sixteen and about as mature as a ten-year-old. She starts each day with a good cry because her mother is sick and then spends most of her time wallowing in the misery. You speak differently.”
“I ironed out the accent, part of the disguise.”
“Sounds phony.”
“Thanks.”
She reached for her purse and said, “Mind if I smoke?” It wasn’t a question. She deftly flicked out a cigarette, one of those long liberated ones, and lit it with a lighter in a motion so smooth that Mack knew she’d had plenty of practice.
“When did you start smoking?”
“A year or so ago. When did you start smoking?”
“When I was fifteen. Quit after law school.”
“I’ll quit someday, but right now it’s the bomb. Only a pack a day, though.”
“Your mother is dying of cancer and you’ve taken up cigarettes.”
“Is that a question? It’s breast cancer, not lung. And I like beer, too.”
“Anything else?”
“Wanna talk about sex?”
“Let’s change the subject.”
She smiled and knew perfectly well he was on his heels. She took a long pull, blew a cloud, and asked, “Do you have any idea how awful it is to be a fourteen-year-old girl and abandoned by your father, a man you loved and admired, a man you thought was really somebody because he was a big lawyer in a small town? A man who was a part of your life, usually there, at home, church, school, family, everywhere a father was supposed to be. Everywhere the other fathers still are, except mine. Any idea what that’s like, Mack?”
“No. I’m sorry.”
“I know you’re sorry. You’re worse than sorry, Mack. I can think of a lot of colorful descriptions.”
“Unload. I’m not arguing. You want me to leave?”
“Go ahead. That’s what you do. Flee. Things get sticky, hit the road.” She was forceful and strong, but she wiped a tear. She puffed away for a moment as she collected herself.
As the adult, he bit his tongue and kept his voice calm and low. “I’m not leaving again, Margot, unless I’m forced to. I said I’m sorry, that’s all I can do. I’m thrilled to see you now and I’d like to see you again. Helen too.”
“Got a question, Mack. When you left here in the middle of the night, did you plan to ever see us again?”
He took a deep breath and gazed at the window. She waited, the slim cigarette delicately resting between two fingers, ready for the next puff. Her eyes were glaring a hole in him.
“I don’t know what I was thinking. You remember the night I came home drunk, slipped on the ice in the driveway, busted my head, and ended up in the hospital?”
“How could I forget? We were so proud.”
What a little smart-ass, but he let it go. It was actually funny but he didn’t smile. “Your mother had you brainwashed into believing that I was some terrible alcoholic and thus a terrible father.”
“I don’t remember it that way.”
“Well thank you. In the Bunning family, two bottles of beer and you’re ready for rehab. She was looking for support and she made sure you and Helen knew I was drinking. She told her family and friends, too.”
“Yes she did. She was pretty horrible about it.”
Thank you, dear. “To answer your question, when I left town my only thought was to just get away. I was sure I would see you again, but that was not in my plans. Not then, anyway. I just wanted to go somewhere far from here and put my life back together. I didn’t have a real plan, except to get away from Lisa.”
“Did you ever love her?”
It was a question he was not expecting. He gazed at the window again. “I thought I did, at one point, early on, but the romance wore off quickly and there was nothing left. As you know, we were really unhappy.”